


heroes

by lcvecarmen



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: 80s American runaway au, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Angst, Growing Up Together, High School AU, M/M, some murder violence but nothing too bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-01
Updated: 2018-11-01
Packaged: 2019-05-01 11:14:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 38,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14519295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lcvecarmen/pseuds/lcvecarmen
Summary: lee taeyong was a mystery to all and jaehyun was brave enough to try to solve his mysteryorthe 80s runaway au





	1. beginnings

 

 

**MOSIER, OREGON**

 

 

Lee Taeyong was a mystery to all.

 

He was never connected to the world. He was always in another universe. It was almost like everything on this earth was barely worth his time. His whole existence seemed larger than life. He was lightning in a bottle.

 

You would be considered lucky if you caught his attention for longer than two seconds. Consider yourself lucky if Lee Taeyong catches interest in you.

 

Jaehyun was never someone to pique Taeyong’s interest. No matter how hard he tried, and it’s not like he tried so very hard.

 

They were neighbors. Jung Jaehyun lived one 143 Bellmont Street and Taeyong lived on 153 Bellmont Street in small town Oregon. Always right across from each other, but never any closer. Jaehyun moved into his small, cozy house when he was six. He hadn’t met Taeyong right away. Jaehyun was more of a reserved kid, never stepping out of the house unless he needed to. Taeyong, however, was the exact opposite. He was always outside no matter the weather condition. So, Jaehyun would see the boy, but never thought too much of it.

 

He just watched sometimes, but never approached. When Taeyong would giggle under the rain in glee in his bright yellow rain jacket, Jaehyun would just watch in amazement before turning back to his toys. In the summertime when the boy would ride his bike dangerously around the streets, Jaehyun would curiously watch. Never in a creepy way, but in curiosity of who his neighbor was.

 

Taeyong was friends with the other kids in the neighborhood, but Jaehyun was not. He never found him outside playing with the other boys. Instead, he played with his action figures by himself and considered it enough.

 

He stopped watching in the summer of ‘79. August 10th, when the sun was at its most brutal heat where Jaehyun felt like he was melting.

 

His action figures were the only source of entertainment when he was growing up. His mother had always asked him to walk outside and interact with the other kids. He was eight years old and he needed friends. His mom had it all wrong though. It wasn’t like he was a complete loner. He had a few friends in school that he would play with in the play yard. His mom fussed over nothing.

 

Except his mom always wins and Jaehyun found himself outside, his Superman action figure in hand. He sat in the summer grass, the hot sun tanning his skin already even though he had only been outside for five minutes. Five minutes too long, he thought as he looked back at his mom standing near the window. She waved at him before turning around the start dinner. Traitor.

 

The cool sounds of the summer whistled around him. He could hear the wind rustle bushes and trees around him. He looked up at the blue sky. The clouds looked so soft from where he was. They were fluffy in almost a comical way. Bored of cloud watching, Jaehyun’s hands picked at the grass absentmindedly. Six minutes.

 

Then, he heard loud screaming.

 

He lifted his head quickly to find the source of the ruckus. It was a boy on a bike. His dark hair wild and unruly, flew in protest against the wind. He was going awfully fast down the hill. Jaehyun was almost concerned for him.

 

When the boy got closer, Jaehyun realized that it was the boy who lived across the street. Jaehyun’s attention strengthened at that.

 

He didn’t know if the boy was screaming in fear or screaming in delight. All of the sudden, the boy stopped and so did the screams of delight. The boy got off of his yellow bike and proceeded up the hill again. Jaehyun kept watching.

 

It repeated like that twice before the boy noticed Jaehyun watching. When he did, he stopped in front of the watching boy.

 

“Superman’s pretty lame,” the boy commented, still in the street on his yellow bike. Jaehyun said nothing. “My name’s Taeyong. What’s yours?”

 

Jaehyun blinked, not knowing what to say even though the question was very clear. It was a simple question, but at eight years old, Jaehyun had forgotten it all.

 

Taeyong’s seemingly black hair was long, bangs reaching over his eyebrows and into his eyes. He was sweaty and smelled a little bit. It was summer so everyone was sweating in this heat.

 

“I’m Jaehyun,” he finally answered.

 

Taeyong nodded, jumped off his bike, and reached his hand out. After a beat, Jaehyun shook his hand, still sitting in his lawn. The other boy grinned widely, missing teeth showing proudly.

 

“Do you have a bike, Jaehyun?” he asked peering over to look into the other’s garage that was open where Jaehyun’s father was working on repairing something.

 

Jaehyun shook his head and the boy standing up huffed. “Well, you can borrow my sister’s. I’ll be right back,” he continued.

 

Taeyong raced across the street without looking (Jaehyun’s mother would die), and got something from the back of his house. It was a pink bike with streamers coming from the handles. The wheels were purple and Jaehyun would have laughed if it weren’t for Taeyong’s face.

 

“Who cares if it’s pink,” he stated with confidence. “Let’s go on an adventure, Jaehyun.”

 

So, Jaehyun went on his first adventure with Taeyong.

 

His first adventure turned out to be to the creek behind the development. It was quite far and there were many hills that had Jaehyun’s legs feel like jelly. Taeyong would only laugh at him. He never wanted to beat someone up so much, but the boy was nice and violence was never the answer. He still wanted to punch the boy.

 

It was worth it when they got to the destination Taeyong had in mind, though. The creek was nothing too special. It was absolutely beautiful to eight year old Jaehyun.

 

“Isn’t it so cool?” the scrawny boy said in amazement. Jaehyun silently nodded. “You don’t talk much, do you? That’s okay!”

 

He was glad he didn’t have to talk so much. He wasn’t really in the mood. The other boy did a good job filling in the silence.

 

“When did you find this?” he asked because it seemed so hidden with all the trees. It was almost within a forest, but it wasn’t thick enough to be considered a forest.

 

Taeyong jumped onto a rock. “I found it when I was adventuring. Now you’re adventuring,” he replied. He smiled.

 

The atmosphere of the area was timeless. It felt like the two had jumped out of the present and stopped by into an alternate universe where time was nonexistent. The grass was greener, the trees seemed more alive, and the water looked cooling. The stream was filled with rocks at the bottom and Jaehyun could see the little wildlife swimming about.

 

He got onto his knees to get a better look, his knees getting dirty with mud. In amazement, Jaehyung found a rock covered in critters. A frog jumped out at him when he peered too close, surprising him. He tried to catch it, but he was too slow. Not getting discouraged, he searched for more frogs to catch.

 

His superman figure was in his pocket the whole time. It peaked over his pocket as he splashed around in the water. He didn’t know if this was how you caught frogs, but it was slightly more exciting than playing with his toys back home. He’s glad he brought superman with him.

 

“What are you doing?” Taeyong asked when Jaehyun loudly splashed his hands into the stream in attempt to catch a frog.

 

He pouted when he noticed his shirt was wet. “I’m trying to catch a frog. They’re too fast,” he answered.

 

Taeyong seemed excited at this information. He quickly removed his bare feet from the water and ran to where Jaehyun was. Rolling up his sleeves a bit more, he grinned mischievously. He sure was missing a lot of teeth. Jaehyun’s big boy teeth were almost all grown in, but Taeyong seemed almost toothless.

 

His one front tooth was missing and his bottom row seemed gone. Maybe he was just late in losing teeth like his school friend, Sicheng.

 

“I’m so good at this. Watch and learn Jaehyunie,” he bragged. He caught one almost immediately.

 

“You’re a lot better at catching them than I am,” he said sadly.

 

Taeyong smiled and shook his head. “You have to be patient.”

 

The frog in his hand was trying to jump away, but his small hands stopped the animal from moving too much. Jaehyun grabbed his superman toy from his front pocket and shrugged. He was getting bored of frog catching anyway.

 

“Superman is the worst superhero ever,” the other boy teased.

 

Jaehyung almost fumed. “He is not! He is the best superhero out there,” he bit. He counted to ten to calm down like his mom taught him and asked, “Who’s your favorite superhero?”

 

“Wonder Woman,” he answered quickly. “She’s a lot cooler than Superman. He’s too perfect, it annoys me.”

 

Jaehyun gaped in shock. He never met anyone who didn’t like Superman. He was the greatest of all time and all his school friends agreed that he was the best (Except for Doyoung, who said the Flash was the best).

 

“He can do anything,” Jaehyun stated. “He’s practically invincible! How can you not like him?”

 

“That’s exactly why I don’t like him.”

 

“That makes no sense. You’re just being mean.”

 

“You’re being mean!”

 

Taeyong stomped away with his frog in hand. Jaehyun sat in the grass and continued playing with his toy. Every once and awhile, he would look over at Taeyong who was playing with the frog he caught. He didn’t like being mad at his new friend. Not everyone can have the same opinion as him. His mom taught him that.

 

Jaehyun stood up and walked up to Taeyong. He put Superman in his flannel pocket again, and took his hand out for the other boy to take. He did in confusion, the frog jumping away quickly.

 

“My name is Jaehyun, I’m eight years old, and I am very sorry for saying mean words,” he recited like his mom taught him. Taeyong giggled at the silliness of it.

 

They shook hands and laughed again like the children they were.

 

“I’m older than you. I’m nine,” Taeyong stated triumphantly. “Bow down to me!”

 

Jaehyun scrunched his face up and shook his head. “That doesn’t matter. Teach me how to catch frogs and _maybe_ I’ll bow to you.”

 

They spent a while trying to figure out where all the frogs went, but when they did, the lesson commenced. Taeyong was a very good teacher and Jaehyun was catching them by his third try. He squealed in excitement when the wet animal squirmed in his hand.

 

“It’s not as slimy as I thought,” he commented.

 

“Frogs tend to be like that,” Taeyong replied. “I thought they would feel the same as worms, but they don’t. It’s a real bummer.”

 

He then picked up a rock to pick worms off of the bottom. They were earthworms that you see when it rains. Jaehyun nearly jumped in fear of the weird looking insects. He always had a strange fear of them after his dad joked about them eating his foot if he ever stepped on them.

 

“Gross,” he muttered in his quiet voice. Taeyong inched it closer to his face and then he really yelped. “That was mean!”

 

The older boy laughed loudly and put down the insect to keep Jaehyun from screaming anymore. The younger just pouted.

 

“You’re a funny guy, Jaehyunnie,” he giggled. “I never met someone who hates worms.”

 

“I never met someone who hates Superman,” he rebutted. “I guess we both met someone completely new.”

 

Taeyong took his bare feet and stomped into the creek. Jaehyun cringed at the thought of sharp rocks, but the rocks were smoother closer the grass. So, he took off his dirty sneaker too and joined. They laughed loudly as they tried to drench the other.

 

Getting tired easily, Taeyong gasped when he spotted another frog. He shushed the younger boy and quickly caught the animal. They ooed and awed at the animal, inspecting it carefully before putting it back into the creek.

 

They started a competition on who could catch the most amount of frogs. That timeless element was back and before they knew it, the sun was fading. Jaehyun didn’t want it to end. It was the most fun he had all summer, and he wanted to keep playing. Maybe he should listen to his mom more often.

 

The sky was orange and pink when Taeyong pointed it out.

 

“My mom is going to be so mad,” Jaehyun worried.

 

“It’s okay,” the other boy comforted while climbing onto his bike. “It’s not like she’ll kill you.”

 

Jaehyun hesitantly started walking, holding onto the handles of the pink bike. Taeyong was slowly moving with his snail-pace pedaling in the grass. It was a quiet ride home. Both of the boys were messy. Jaehyun had mud all over his knees and dirt under his fingernails. Taeyong had dirt _and_ mud on his face. Mom is definitely going to be mad.

 

When they got to their street, they saw a cop car and a very scary looking cop. The boys looked at each other before tipping forward to go down the hill.

 

He saw his mom talking to the cop and his heartbeat felt awful. Another woman was standing with his mom, nodding along. He was absolutely dreading the moment the hill will decrease and he would have to explain to his mom where he was all day. It wasn’t his fault!

 

“Oh my god, my boy!” his mom wailed when she saw the two. She practically ran to hug him.

 

He felt embarrassed, his cheeks warming up rapidly. Jaehyun turned to look at Taeyong who was already off his bike and handing it to the lady. He presumed it was his mom, but she didn’t seem as happy as Jaehyun’s mom. She seemed tired and used to these events.

 

“It’s okay, mom,” he reassured, his small hand patting his mom’s back. “I was just catching frogs with Taeyong at the creek.”

 

At that moment, Taeyong was smacked in the back of the head by his mother. The boy flinched harshly, and the cop did nothing. Jaehyun was shocked, but said nothing.

 

“What’d dad tell you about the creek?” she said sternly, crouching down to be eye level with the boy. She pointed a finger at him as she waited for his response.

 

“Don’t visit the creek,” he muttered to answer her.

 

Jaehyun’s mom sighed and composed herself. “It’s fine, Eunjae. The boys are fine now. That’s all that matters, right?”

 

Taeyong’s mother just tucked the small boy under her arm and shook her head, rudely walking off without replying. They both walked up the driveway, Taeyong dragging his shoes against the ground. He turned around to look at Jaehyun one last time before heading inside. He waved softly and the younger waved back slowly.

 

He didn’t want to say goodbye to his new friend. Not yet. There was no telling when Jaehyun would be allowed back outside, or when he would be allowed to play with Taeyong. His mom’s thoughts were already clear. She had no intention in letting the two reunite anytime soon.

 

He could only wait until the next time he would ever see Taeyong again like he had today. Under the summer sun and laughing loudly with a toothless grin, that was the Taeyong he would always remember.

 

Jaehyun was eight and he was already in love with someone very far away from him.

 

He realized Taeyong was very far away from him when he was in seventh grade and the other boy was a scary, older eighth grader. eighth graders ruled the school, a year shy from high school. For some reason, all the younger kids were intimidated by them, but Jaehyun never really was. He just knew his place as a seventh grader.

 

Sure, sometimes there would be friendships across grades because it was a small town with an even smaller population, but only the extroverted and “popular” kids really did that.

 

Jaehyun wasn’t so popular. He had friends, but he didn’t have an exclusive group. Everyone knows everybody’s business, so he never understood how the kids could get so popular. They were all equally as known, but the popular kids would set the trends. That’s what set them apart from everybody else.

 

Taeyong was apart of that group.

 

He was apart of that group because of how enticing his whole mysterious ordeal was. He was only twelve and the rest of the world already kissed at his feet. For some reason, Taeyong was just cool. Nobody knew why, but you would always want to get close with him. Become his best friend, or even an acquaintance, and you were deemed popular enough.  

 

There was some sort of great chain of being that acknowledged Taeyong as the most important. He was otherworldly and if there was something wrong with Taeyong, there was something wrong with everybody.

 

So, when he disappeared at the seventh and eighth grade ‘83 winter ball, nobody knew how to act.

 

A girl Jaehyun didn’t really know was going around asking everyone where her date had gone. He had known that she was one of the more popular girls. He could tell with her pink scrunchy and poofy bangs. It was almost like a uniform for those girls.

 

She frantically buzzed around while her friends followed and comforted her. Jaehyun watched in bored amusement as he sat sipping on his juice box. He scoffed when she started crying, he mascara smudging already under the blue lights in the gymnasium.

 

Sicheng was slow dancing with a girl, his hands high up her waist and the distance between them hilarious. She was taller than the scrawny boy and his friend was clearly scared. His other friend, Yuta, was by the snack stand, talking to their gym teacher Mr. Wilson. Jaehyun got up when he realized he was bored out of his mind.

 

He really needed to pee.

 

Walking out of the gymnasium and into the hall, he traced the walls with his hand. He walked slow towards the bathroom as the muffled music from the dance sounded, Let’s Dance by Bowie starting. He hated that song.

 

He entered the bathroom and he gasped.

 

“Shit, you saw nothing,” Lee Taeyong had whispered, his body halfway out the window.

 

Jaehyun blinked and he probably looked stupid.

 

Taeyong was no longer in his tux, but in tattered jeans and AC/DC tee with cut off sleeves. He looked like trouble and everything Jaehyun was not.

 

He seemed stuck because as Jaehyun walked in he heard the sounds of protest and frustration. Jaehyun assumes that it’s difficult to climb out of a window with a bag in your hand.

 

“Why can’t you just leave out the front doors?” Jaehyun asked when Taeyong struggled even more to squeeze out. He had only half of the window open.

 

Jaehyun helpfully climbed onto the sink, settled onto his knees and opened the window wider for the older boy he had known for so long. Taeyong grinned widely. He had teeth this time.

 

“What’s the fun in that?” he replied mischievously. “Plus, they have teachers standing near them so nobody leaves. Real bummer.”

 

Jaehyun nods awkwardly. He forgot all about the need to pee. Instead, he awkwardly watched Taeyong squirm outside. Taeyong peaked his head over the window, his black hair in tufts. His hair cut always changed and this year he had some sort of undercut. It looked cool on him and different. Nobody else could pull off the look.

 

He looked at Jaehyun and wiggled his eyebrows teasingly. “You wanna have fun?”

 

He thought back to when they first met at the small age of eight and nine. They were older now, but Taeyong had obviously not changed. His search for adventure was still wild and untamed.

 

Jaehyun looked down at his tux, which was too big for him, and then at the bathroom door. A teacher could walk in at anytime and get them both into a lot of trouble. Jaehyun didn’t want to deal with his mother’s nagging and lectures, but another adventure with Taeyong seemed enticing.

 

“My mom would get really mad at me if I leave,” Jaehyun trailed off.

 

Taeyong groaned and rolled his eyes from the other side of the window. “You’re too boring, Jaehyun.”

 

He was a bit taken back when Taeyong remembered his name, but they are neighbors, so maybe it wasn’t so weird. Shrugging it off, Jaehyun quickly looked at the bathroom door again.

 

“Well, I’m gonna get going if you’re going to take this long. Adventure awaits me,” Taeyong tossed over as he headed off to wherever.

 

Jaehyun knew this was probably going to be the only time he would have another adventure with the boy he had admired. He also knew that he was going to regret this.

 

“Wait!” he shouted after him. Taeyong turned around with a smile on his face.

 

It was now or never. So, he took off his jacket and climbed out of the window with the older boy. The other cheered for him quietly. They tried not to draw too much attention towards them, but Jaehyun loudly landed on the gravel. Taeyong shushed him loudly.

 

He started to run unexpectedly. Jaehyun basically scrambled to pick up. The older boy was running so fast and he wasn’t exactly the best at long distance running. Sure, he runs track, but he was never good at it.

 

Taeyong was way ahead of him, and far away the boy stopped. That gave time for Jaehyun to catch up, and when he did he was trying his best to catch his breath without sounding like he wanted to collapse.

 

“I found this really cool place around here,” Taeyong said when Jaehyun didn’t sound like he was dying. He kept on walking towards his destination and Jaehyun followed.

 

He followed him into the forest where the trees were thick and old. There were always trees when it came to adventures with Taeyong. It was just like time when they were kids. He guessed they’re still kids, but now they’re slightly more matured kids.

 

“Are there always a bunch of trees when it comes to adventures with you?” he asked teasingly.

 

The other responded, “Only sometimes.” He then groaned at the weight of the bag on his shoulders. “This shit is heavy, do you mind carrying it for a while?”

 

Without waiting for an answer, he tossed it towards Jaehyun and continued walking. The young boy just caught it and continued like nothing happened.

 

“Why’d you show up to the dance if you were just going to ditch?” Jaehyun asked boldly without thinking about it.

 

Taeyong looked like he was pondering the answer, and it was almost like he didn’t even know the answer.

 

“You know Cindy, right?” he asked quickly, and Jaehyun nodded. “She really wanted to go with me, but then I got bored. So, now I’m here.”

 

It was beyond Jaehyun’s comprehension again, but he nodded as if he got it. He really didn’t. If a pretty, popular girl like Cindy asked him to the dance, he would probably say yes and do the exact opposite of Taeyong. He wouldn’t just ditch someone like that.

 

Except, he didn’t get asked out at all and he went with his dork friends. Guess that makes Jaehyun a dork, too.

 

“What’s it like being popular?” he wondered aloud, kicking a pile of dead leaves.

 

The wind was biting cold, but Taeyong looked cool with his sleeveless tee. Jaehyun put his jacket on and put it close to his body. He waited for the answer to his question patiently. They weren’t in a rush. The walk was calm and almost relaxing.

 

“I’m popular?” Taeyong answered, but it was more of another question to his question.

 

Jaehyun shrugged dramatically, as if he was saying _duh_. “You have a bunch of friends and get along with everyone. Doesn’t that make you popular?”

 

Taeyong bit at his lips roughly. They were chapped under the cold. He kept rubbing at his skinny arms, insinuating that he was chilly as well. Jaehyun would have offered his jacket if he wasn’t so cold himself.

 

“I’m really shy,” Taeyong admitted, throwing him off. “I don’t really know how to act around a lot of people. I don’t know why people like me so much, Jaehyun.”

 

He looked sincerely at Jaehyung in that moment.

 

“You don’t seem shy,” he added. Taeyong just chuckled bitterly.

 

“I just talk a lot when I’m nervous. People get that mixed up with outgoingness, but it’s really not.”

 

“You’re not acting shy around me,” Jaehyun said quietly.

 

They shared a silent moment together. Both had stopped walking and they stood in front of the biggest tree Jaehyun had ever seen in his life. It stood tall and held hundreds of years behind it. The history of the tree was a mystery, but it had some sort of wiseness to its trunk. The leaves shook along with the wind.

 

On the trunk were hundreds of names. It seemed like many people before them found the same tree.

 

“That’s because I actually know you,” Taeyong answered quietly as well, “and I actually like you. You’re not so boring.”

 

Jaehyun blushed at those words. He was twelve, even the slightest of compliments made his face burn. He traced his hand over the carvings and Taeyong soon followed. They traced the names together.

 

“Look at all these people,” the older boy whispered. His tone was light, like he was trying not to break the air. “Every single one of them stood where we are standing right now.”

 

That freaked Jaehyun out.

 

“That freaks me out,” he confessed.

 

Taeyong chuckled and grabbed a sharp little knife from the bag Jaehyun was carrying for him. It was tiny, but the blade was sharp enough to cut the bark of the old tree.

 

“All these names make me feel so small,” Taeyong whispered as he carved the _t_ of his name.

 

That wasn’t true at all. Taeyong was anything but small. He was larger than life. He was much more than a person because he was special. He wasn’t just the type of special moms tell their kids to make them feel better. He was the type of special that impacted everyone. Wherever he went, a piece of Taeyong was left.

 

That didn’t make any sense to Jaehyun at the time when he was twelve, but he’d grow to understand everything.

 

For now, he ignored the small whisper and waited for the older boy to finish carving his name. It looked messy as it was thrown over a countless number of names. Taeyong made sure his name was the largest one of the trunk. It was fresh and he was content. This was his mark.

 

“I feel bad for the tree,” Jaehyun said. “It has to deal with a bunch of people stabbing it for no reason.”

 

Taeyong didn’t laugh. It was a poor joke anyway.

 

Jaehyun grabbed the small knife and carved Jae. It wasn’t anything special, but it was enough. It also was not nearly as big as Taeyong’s carving. The carving was more of an addition to the pile of meaningless names.

 

A moment of silence fell over the boys as they stared at the tree in wonderment. Jaehyun started to wonder how Taeyong made such a discovery.

 

“How’d you find this tree?” he asked.

 

Taeyong took a deep breath, drawing Jaehyun’s attention towards him. The younger boy looked at his neighbor and waited for the answer. He’s always waiting. Taeyong sure does love the dramatics, and loves making people wait for him to speak.

 

“I ditched gym one day, and I just kept walking until I got here,” Taeyong provided.

 

Jaehyun hummed in response and moved to leave the forest. Then, he realized he had no idea where he was going. So, he waited for Taeyong to get out of his own trace. He was so entranced by the tree that he spent a good while just observing it.

 

“Do you wanna go to the creek?” Taeyong asked after snapping his attention back to Jaehyun. They started walking out of the forest.

 

Jaehyun followed and hoped the older boy knew where he was going. It was like he was planning this trip, memorizing every turn and exit. They eventually got out of the neverending forest. By the time they were out, the dance had ended. When Jaehyun realized that he had to go home with Sicheng, he panicked.

 

He didn’t want to ditch Sicheng, but he also didn’t want to miss out on spending time with Taeyong. It was fun to have Taeyong’s attention. It made you feel special, too.

 

“It’s getting kind of late,” he pointed out. “Plus, I’m going home with my friend. It’s been fun carving trees with you, though!”

 

Jaehyun smiled and turned around to get to the gymnasium again. He started to light jog, not wanting to miss Sicheng, and when he was about to round the corner, he looked back. He looked back at Taeyong who was just sitting on the curb, watching the stars.

 

Taeyong is the lightning in a bottle of Jaehyun’s life, but he keeps letting him go every time.

 

He’s twelve and he doesn’t care all that much about what others think of him. He does, however, care about what Taeyong thinks.

 

Taeyong looked over at where Jaehyun was, far off, but not too far. He waved and the younger boy waved back before breaking into a jog again.

 

_four years later_

 

That was the last time Jaehyun ever really talked to Taeyong. They went back to being strangers after that. He wasn’t that bothered by it. Sure, it was fun to be around Taeyong, but he knew that he didn’t stand a chance when it came to dealing with a character like Taeyong. He was just too much and Jaehyun was too little.

 

He would never meet Taeyong’s expectations, and he would just end up being ditched. Jaehyun was too much of a softie to deal with that sort of rejection.

 

Nothing much had changed. Taeyong was still loved by everybody he met and Jaehyun still remained nearly invisible.

 

High school fucking sucked. It absolutely sucked ass.

 

Jaehyun didn’t find anything about school appealing. He hated studying, he hated being thrown into social environments with stupid people, and hated everything. His group of friends were the only cool ones there.

 

“They’re reopening the arcade. Did you hear?” Sicheng said randomly one day at lunch.

 

They were sophomores, which meant they were at the bottom of the social class. People hated sophomores almost twice as much freshmen. It was tough, and Jaehyun just wanted to be a junior already. They sat in the sophomore section of the lunchroom near the trash cans. It was the worst place to have lunch, but they couldn’t move due to the crowdedness of the cafeteria.

 

The seniors got to eat outside since it was May and the weather was nice. Seniors didn’t care for anything, and Jaehyun wished he could have the same nonchalant attitude about school, but he had a future and college to worry about.

 

The juniors had the best spot in the cafeteria. They have an elevated area near the back where none of the teachers stand around by. The moderators let everything slide by whenever a junior acts up.

 

Technically, you didn’t have to stay in your grades’ section, but whoever dared to eat with the juniors were ballsy, or popular. Jaehyun didn’t dare.

 

Jaehyung, however, did stare at the junior section a lot.

 

“Are you even listening to me?” Sicheng pointed out in frustration when Jaehyun didn’t reply.

 

Jaehyun snapped out of his gaze and directed his attention back to his best friend. “Yeah, sorry, the arcade is opening up again.”

 

Sicheng sighed and rolled his eyes, disinterested in the conversation already.

 

Sicheng was his best friend and had been since he was in first grade. The boy moved from China and Jaehyung knew Oregon was scary at first because when he was six, he found America scary, too. So, he took it upon himself to make Sicheng his best friend at an early age.

 

“Are we having a meeting soon?” Dongyoung asked. “We should have it at the arcade. Donghyuck’s dad works there, so maybe he can set up the stuff in the back room or something.”

 

Dongyoung annoyingly grabbed at Jaehyun’s plate of cafeteria fries and smiled as if he did nothing when Jaehyun glared at him for stealing his food.

 

“AV club is canceled,” Jaehyun said dramatically. Dongyoung just quickly picked up a fry and threw it at him.

 

They were all apart of AV club, Sicheng, Dongyoung, Yuta, and Jaehyun. It was only the four of them, but that’s all they needed to start a club. Recently, the teacher that would help them quit and now they didn’t have a teacher representative. It sucked.

 

“Maybe I can ask Mr. Harp. He likes me enough,” Sicheng tried.

 

Yuta snorted a laugh. “Yeah, he sure likes you. Maybe a little too much,” he joked, receiving the meanest look from Sicheng.

 

“That’s just fucking sick,” Dongyoung gagged. “Isn’t he, like, fifty?”

 

They all argued and discussed the creepiness of Mr. Harp’s infatuation with Sicheng, but Jaehyun paid no mind. Instead, he returned his attention to the junior section.

 

There he was; Lee Taeyong.

 

He was absolutely radiant in his element, surrounded by a crowd of people. His table was filled, not a single seat let open. The cafeteria lighting was awful, but he still looked good. If the pale, yellow lights made everyone look like trash, they made Taeyong look decent.

 

He was laughing with his friends and his head was thrown back in laughter when somebody said something funny, Jaehyun guessed. He ran a hand through his bleached hair and listened to his friends. His hair looked great, and Jaehyun felt a little creepy staring, but he couldn’t help it.

 

Taeyong had bleached his hair when they came back from winter break. It was a shock to everyone. Jaehyun had seen it when he was on his way to the bus stop. Taeyong was getting picked up by one of his friends, and when he saw it, he audibly gasped.

 

It was a bold move, but he made it work. Taeyong would do anything to surprise the people around him. Everybody had just complimented him and gone on with their days.

 

Taeyong was friends with the important people. He swore that he wasn’t popular, but he still hung around them. He went to parties with them and sat with them at lunch, that had to mean something.

 

“Would you stop staring at him for one second?” someone said, distracting him. “It’s getting creepy.”

 

Jaehyun glared at Yuta, the one who called him out. “Kindly fuck off? Thanks.”

 

Yuta just laughed loudly and sarcastically. “You’re real funny, you know, Jaehyun?” he teased. “You know you don’t stand a chance with Taeyong, right? He’s way out of your league.”

 

Jaehyun, again, glared at his friend. If looks could kill.

 

“No, Yuta, you got it all wrong,” Dongyoung interjected. “They carved their names on the Big Tree together, they’re destined to be now.”

 

There was a myth that went around their town that basically said if you carve your name into the Big Tree with another person, you’ll end up falling in love with that person. It was dumb and so was Dongyoung.

 

“You’re dumb,” Jaehyun meanly said. “Will you guys just be quiet just this once?”

 

Dongyoung and Yuta mock sobbed just to get on Jaehyun’s nerve. He decided he had enough, laughed under his breath, said goodbye, and walked off to throw away his trash. He then left the cafeteria and headed to the bathrooms.

 

In there, he did his business. When he went to wash his hands, loud voices were heard as they stormed into the bathroom.

 

“Fuck you, Brad!” a familiar voice shouted. “I’m not your fucking gay experiment. Touch me again and you’re dead.”

 

Jaehyun awkward stood by the sinks, not knowing what to do. Panic spread through him, and the need to hide was alarming. Taeyong was the one who shouted, he had known that voice. It didn’t sound good, so he rushed towards the stalls to avoid the quarrel. He jumped on the toilet seat to hide himself further from view and crouched. His long limbs made it a bit hard, but he managed.

 

“Tae, baby, you know I didn’t mean it. The boys just can’t know about us,” Brad, a large football player who was even taller that Jaehyun, said softly. His ingenuity was detectable from miles away.

 

He peeked through the crack of the stalls and saw Taeyong and Brad standing awfully close. That threw him off. Taeyong was fuming and Brad looked absolutely annoyed.

 

“You think you can just treat me like shit in front of your friends, but the moment we’re alone, you’re begging me to suck you dick,” Taeyong hissed through gritted teeth.

 

Brad smacked Taeyong across the face so hard that the smaller boy nearly fell at the impact. Jaehyun covered his mouth to stop himself from gasping. The silence was terrifying.

 

Taeyong composed himself quickly, standing up straighter, and laughed short and bitterly. “You think you’re so big and brave, but you’re just a scared little pussy,” he said cruelly. “You’re gay, baby. Nobody just fucks their bro for fun.”

 

It almost seemed like Brad was going to break Taeyong in half at that second, but someone else had came into the bathroom. His fist was raised, and Taeyong had just stared at him, fearless. He was shorter, but his presence was powerful.

 

“Brad, Mrs. Jones is looking for you,” the person that walked in said upon arriving.

 

Brad looked even more pissed. He stormed off, forcefully bumping into Taeyong’s shoulder. Jaehyun struggled to see who the other person was. He realized that he was holding his breath the whole time.

 

Does it make him a bad person that he had just watched? He watched Taeyong be abused and did not nothing. He could have possibly stopped Brad from hitting him.

 

“You need to stop seeing that douchebag,” someone said. They then came into view, hugging Taeyong tightly. It was some white girl Jaehyun's never talked to. He wondered how she got in the boy's bathroom, but he ignores it. “You deserve so much better.”

 

Taeyong said nothing. He just hugged his friend back with the same amount of strength. Jaehyun felt awkward as he invaded the moment. He felt like he had seen another part of Taeyong, a more intimate, dark part.

 

He waited until the two left, and he sighed loudly. Jaehyun stared at his reflection and regretted his actions very quickly. He should have stopped him, but he didn’t.

 

He didn’t dwell on it too much, but when he walked out of the bathroom, Taeyong was there, talking to his friends. They made eye contact with Taeyong quickly. They both knew exactly what had just happened. Jaehyun walked faster towards his next class.

 

That was his first biggest regret when it came to Taeyong.

 

Jaehyun has never liked being around crying people.

 

When Sicheng cried to him about Star Wars: Return of the Jedi, he didn’t know how to act. Yuta cried when he was listening to the Cure, and even then Jaehyun didn’t know what to do. Thankfully, Dongyoung never cried around him.

 

His mother would cry sometimes. He never liked it, but he tried his hardest when she cried. He’s the worst, but he tries. His mom cries over stuff like him growing up, their father’s absence at work, and mom things. Jaehyun never understood.

 

He hates crying himself.

 

In general, he hates crying.

 

So, when one day he sees Taeyong crying for the first time, he doesn’t know what to do. Technically, there was nothing he could do, and like many times before, he just watched.

 

He was sitting in his room and listening to Stevie Nicks. Jaehyun was reading a book. It was late at night and it was May, the end of school just around the corner. The chill Saturday atmosphere was perfect. He didn’t need the big parties to keep him happy. His book and cassette player were enough.

 

Jaehyun sat by his window, and he looked down at the street. He peered over at the house across the street. His mind wandered and he thought about what Taeyong was doing. He was probably at a party, doing something a lot cooler than Jaehyun.

 

His thoughts didn’t get to last long because short after, Taeyong came stomping out of his house. His father was close by, following him. Jaehyun put down his book and paid attention to what was happening below. He looked over at his clock and it read 2 am. What could Taeyong and his family be doing at an hour like this?

 

Jaehyun couldn’t hear anything, but he could see Taeyong’s mouth moving. He was clearly sobbing, trying to run away from his father. Jaehyun’s eyes widened and he moved around his window to get a better look.

 

Taeyong’s father had an iron grip on his wrist. It looked so tight that he felt a ghost pain on his own wrist. Taeyong twisted and turned, but the grimace on his face only grew. He was struggling, and Jaehyun raced to his closet to grab a shirt to throw on. He planned on helping Taeyong this time. He was not going to just watch.

 

By the time he had his shirt on, something horrible had happened. Jaehyun looked outside quickly and his breath hitched when he saw Taeyong on the sidewalk. His father had punched him and was currently dragging the boy inside.

 

Although Jaehyun’s window was closed, he could hear Taeyong’s shouting and cursing. The older boy was sobbing, and it was the most painful thing to watch. Jaehyun turned away.

 

Jaehyun hates watching people cry, but he absolutely despises watching Taeyong cry.

  
  
**MOSIER, 1988**

 

 

Jaehyun doesn’t know what goes on in Taeyong’s life. He has absolutely no idea what goes on. He only knows that the boy lives across the street from him, and Jaehyun has had the fattest crush on him since he was eight. That was all he knew when it came to Taeyong.

 

For some reason, Jaehyun would drop everything for Taeyong.

 

It’s scary and unhealthy, he knows this. His friends tell him this all the time. Jaehyun knows that his infatuation with Taeyong is very one-sided. They’ve only shared two moments together. They were short moments when they were young, and Taeyong probably forgets both of them.

 

For some dumb reason, Jaehyun is head over heels for Taeyong. It’s been like that since he was eight.

 

He’s a junior, seventeen and nothing has changed. Nothing at all.

 

He hasn’t made a move to talk to Taeyong at all, and at this point, it’s futile to ask anything out of his crush. Jaehyun waited too long, and now Taeyong’s a senior and leaving. He’s not sure if he’s going to college, but Jaehyun knows that he’s doing something after high school. Someone like Taeyong can’t stay in this boring ass town for so long. Once he gets that moment of freedom, he’s leaving. Jaehyun wishes he could say the same.

 

His mom forced him to apply for the college nearby their town so he could be under her supervision still. His father didn’t give a shit. He was too busy with work and dealing with his alcohol problem. His dad was shit, but his mom tried to balance his missing weight. At least, he provided for them.

 

It was June, school had ended and summer break was starting up. He was going to be a senior in three months. That thought alone made him freak out, but right about now he didn’t give a shit.

 

Right about now, he was playing videos games with Sicheng and Dongyoung on his NES.

 

“You suck!” Jaehyun yells when Sicheng loses the game for them for the tenth time that night.

 

He sighs in frustration and hops on his bed. He taps his foot at the bottom of his bed and thinks of the next possible thing they could do that wouldn’t bore him to death. Playing Super Contra isn’t exactly extremely fun when you’re playing with people who have no skill at all. They were taking turns, but Jaehyun was the only one holding them up from losing.

 

Dongyoung takes the controller out of Sicheng’s hands and promises a win for them. Jaehyun knew that meant he was going to lose immediately. The boss level wasn’t even that hard because he had beaten it a few times before, but for some reason his friends can’t even make a second.

 

“Do you guys wanna head to the diner?” he throws. “We’re so lame just sitting here playing videos. Why don’t we do something fun and more our age?”

 

Sicheng gasps loudly and dramatically. He then jumps onto Jaehyun, but does no real damage because of how light he is. His bony elbows did dig into Jaehyun’s ribs though. Jaehyun winced at that.

 

“You’re telling me going to some lame diner where lame people hang out at is more fun than playing Super Contra with the coolest people ever?” Sicheng says quickly, pointing a finger at Jaehyun. “Look at how much fun Dongyoung’s having!”

 

Dongyoung promptly curses loudly when he loses a life.

 

“Killer fun,” Jaehyun says monotonously.

 

Sicheng groans and rolls off Jaehyun. “You’re the lame one. What would we even do at the diner?”

 

Jaehyun sits up to make a point and says, “Yuta is working right now, we can tease him and order a bunch of food to send him running.”

 

“Dumbass, we’re broke,” Dongyoung speaks up.

 

“You are, not me,” he responds.

 

Dongyoung flips him off at that, not detering his attention away from the video game.

 

Sicheng just thinks about it for awhile. Eventually, he sighs and gives in. Jaehyun cheers and gets out of his bed immediately. Dongyoung whines because he was getting close to beating the boss.

 

“You guys suck,” he mutters under his breath as he turns off the system.

 

Jaehyun gets changed into something more appropriate for going out, and after that they’re on their way to the local diner downtown.

 

“You don’t even know how to drive,” Sicheng mocks when Dongyoung runs over a curb.

 

They drove down with Dongyoung’s beat up car. They didn’t think it would be too bad, but their friend had just recently gotten his license. It was the worst decision they made.

 

“I’d like to see you drive,” he shouts back. “Wait, you can’t because you don’t have your license.”

 

Jaehyun rolls his eyes as he sits in the backseat, watching his friends bicker.

 

“Why don’t I drive next time?” he points out, his voice mocking and sarcastic.

 

Dongyoung scoffs. “You don’t even have a car.”

 

“At least I don’t have my grandma’s old Ford,” he teases, earning a smack in the knee from his friend driving.

 

Sicheng shrieks in fear when Dongyoung swerves just the tiniest bit. “Both hands on the wheel. I swear to god, Dongyoung, if you kill me tonight, I’m killing you back,” he hisses.

 

They weren’t too far from the diner. It was a five minute drive, but Dongyoung’s awful driving made it ten times slower. It had already been ten minutes since they left his house. When they finally did make it to the diner, Jaehyun was the first one out of that car. His friends quickly follow, and they laugh loudly as they mess with each other. They crack jokes and Jaehyun laughs quietly along.

 

When they walk inside, the place is crowded. It’s Saturday night and their high school practically claimed this diner as their own years ago, so most of the customers came from the school. Jaehyun and his friends would usually visit whenever Yuta was working, and they’d visit after AV club a lot. It was common to bump into people from school, but that’s everywhere in a small town like this.

 

They sit at their usual booth in the middle and wait for Yuta to approach them. When he does, he looks annoyed and tired.

 

“I hate you shitheads so much,” he mutters under his breath as he takes out his notepad to take their orders. “What do you want to drink, and would you like to hear our specials today?”

 

Dongyoung pulls at Yuta’s work uniform, and he earns a good smack in the head. “I would like a strawberry milkshake, please and thank you,” he orders, rubbing at his head.

  

“For you guys?” he asks, a fake smile plastered on his face.

 

They’ve all eaten there so many times and their usual orders are practically memorized, but Yuta still has to ask because of something about customer service. Plus, his manager was at the diner that night, so he had to be extra smiley.

 

“That good green tea stuff,” he prattles as he messes with the sugar dispenser. “Oh, can you bring cheese fries quickly tonight? I’m extra hungry today.”

 

Yuta blankly stares at him. “You’re gonna have to wait like everybody else in this damn diner. I swear, it’s just me and this other girl working tonight. I can only serve so many people.” He sits next to Dongyoung and lays on top of him, faking sleep.

 

Dongyoung pushes him off and Yuta just laughs.

 

“Chocolate milkshake for me,” Sicheng orders. “Be a dear and put extra whip cream on it? Those nice cherries would be much appreciated.”

 

Yuta fakely smiles, nods and walks off to hand in their orders.

 

Jaehyun shakes his head in amusement and continues lining up the sugar on the table. He makes a flower with the small bits, but Sicheng just blows it away. Jaehyun glares at his friend and shoves him out of the booth. Dongyoung laughs loudly and so does Jaehyun when the boy hits the floor abruptly.

 

Waiting for their drinks went by smoothly. They talked about pointless stuff that kept them entertained. They mocked Yuta’s work outfit some more and discussed about graduating.

 

“Shut up, we still have a whole year,” Sicheng whines, the thought of graduating making him want to cry. “I don’t wanna be an adult with responsibilities. I wanna be a freshman again.” He pouts some more.

 

Dongyoung’s jaw drops at that statement. “Do you even remember freshman year?” he says incredulously. “You were two feet tall and ugly.”

 

Jaehyun throws a ketchup packet at his friend. “He was cute when he was tiny,” he defends. “He’s ugly now is what you mean.”

 

Sicheng gasps in offense and shoves his friend over and over again to release his frustration.

 

“I can’t wait until I’m out of here,” Dongyoung sighs dreamingly. “I’m moving straight to New York and never looking back.”

 

Jaehyun falters at this discussion. The topic of college and graduating never made him sad, but the thought of remaining in his town even longer made him shiver in fear.

 

The conversation is cut short, thankfully, because Yuta comes out with their shakes. Jaehyun takes a sip of his drink quickly, and he savors the flavor. Yuta then brings a plate of fries. Jaehyun cheers and goes to kiss his friend on the cheek enthusiastically, but Sicheng holds him down.

 

“Yuta, baby, I love you,” he says with a mouth full of fries. “Can you get me those fudge brownies, too?”

 

Yuta glares at Jaehyun and he just gives back a cheesy smile.

 

They eat their food happily. Ten minutes pass by and Jaehyun finishes his cheese fries with the help from his friends.

 

“You know what I hate about summer break?” Dongyoung says with fudge on his teeth. “I get bored quickly.”

 

Jaehyun shrugs. “Maybe if we some interesting things around here, we wouldn’t be so bored, but we live in the middle of nowhere,” he points out bitterly. There’s not a town Jaehyun hates more than his own.

 

“Don’t be like that,” Sicheng says quietly, pushing around remains of his food.

 

Jaehyun drops it and goes to take a long sip of his drink.

 

Right at that moment, a group of people from their school come into the diner. Jaehyun nearly chokes.

 

“Don’t freak out, but I think your boy’s here,” Sicheng says with no emotion, and hands Jaehyun a napkin to clean himself of his milkshake.

 

Taeyong walks in looking like sin, and he finds it hard to breathe for a while. His eyes follow Taeyong, and he notices the group he was with that night. He was with Brad, some other white kids, and Jungwoo.  

 

Jaehyun stiffens when he remembers who Brad is and who he is to Taeyong.

 

Dongyoung turns around sharply not a second later. Jaehyun is afraid his friend might get whiplash.

 

“Holy shit,” he breathes dreamingly, “he’s so beautiful,” he continues as he stares at Jungwoo. Jaehyun rolls his eyes and goes back to drink his shake.

 

Jungwoo was way out of his league, and Dongyoung knew that.

 

“He’s way out of your league,” Sicheng jokes, and it earns him a smack on the hand. Sicheng just laughs at his friend’s misfortune.

 

Dongyoung pouts. “If we wanna talk about people out of our leagues, let’s talk about Jaehyun and his neighbor. He’s been pining over his flat ass for decades,” he accuses.

 

Jaehyun glares at his friend, ignoring his statement to gaze over where Taeyong and his friends sat. The fates must have hated him that night because a second later, Jaehyun gets caught staring by Taeyong, who just smiles sweetly. Jaehyun blinks flusterly and directs his attention down towards his own table.

 

“Creep,” Sicheng jokes. Jaehyun goes to shove his friend once again.

 

Yuta then comes over, tired. He announces that he is officially on his fifteen minute break and steals Sicheng’s milkshake to drink the rest.

 

“What were you losers talking about before I blessed you all with my presence?” he asks, leaning back into the booth.

 

Jaehyun raises an eyebrow. “Yeah, because having you stink up the place is so nice,” he teases.

 

Yuta raises his fist in mock fight. Jaehyun laughs quietly and looks up at the ceiling lights. He then rests his head on Sicheng’s shoulder, his tiredness getting the best of him. It was around eleven, and already his eyes were getting heavy. He listened to the music playing through the jukebox not so far from them. Cyndi Lauper wasn’t _so_ bad, it was just that “Time After Time” was an overplayed song.

 

He desperately wanted to change the song. Couldn’t they play something good around here?

 

Jaehyun rests his eyes a bit, and when he opens them, he panics just for a second. He panics because Taeyong is walking straight at them. It only takes a couple moments to realize that Taeyong is heading towards the jukebox. He can feel his heart jumping in his chest as the older boy gets closer and closer.

 

When he does pass by their table, the boy smiles at Jaehyun slightly before reaching the music machine. He thinks his heart stopped beating right there. He didn’t realize he was holding breath (like always).

 

Dongyoung and Yuta were both giving him knowing looks, their lips curled in a cruel smile. Sicheng was just making hand gestures to make them stop. Jaehyun’s face was definitely red by now.

 

The song changed to something more Jaehyun’s style and he looked back at the occupied jukebox. Taeyong had just finished choosing a song, and he looked satisfied with his song choice. “Runaway Beach” rang through the diner, the loud guitar chords sending Jaehyun in a loop.

 

“You like the Ramones?” Jaehyun asks when Taeyong walks pass their booth again to return to his friends.

 

The boy stops momentarily, looking a bit startled. He looks at Jaehyun and grins. Jaehyun took the time to appreciate the older’s captivating smile. His outfit made Jaehyun want to scream. How could someone look so good in an oversized concert tee and ripped jeans? It was beyond Jaehyun’s comprehension.

 

“Glad someone around here appreciates good music,” Taeyong muses before continuing to walk to his own table. Once he makes it next to Brad, he raises both eyebrows and directs his attention away from Jaehyun.

 

Jaehyun is definitely in love with someone so far away from him.

 

Dongyoung snaps him out of his trance by rudely stepping on his foot underneath the table. He gives his friend a mean glare before kicking him in the shin.

 

“You need to get over him,” Yuta says, almost with pity. He chews on a cherry stem and shrugs when Jaehyun glares at him, too. “I heard he has a thing with Brad.”

 

He shakes his head and ignores him.

 

“Can we get going?” he asks tiredly. He rubs his eyes a little bit before sitting up straight and gesturing Sicheng to move. “Dongyoung, be a dear and drop me off first?”

 

Dongyoung groans, but agrees anyway. They all get up except for Yuta, who still have twenty minutes left in his shift. Sicheng decides to stay back to keep Yuta company, and the two nod and get on their way. Jaehyun pays for their food, and they’re out.

 

Jaehyun forces Dongyoung to sit in the passenger, and he drives instead. It was a simple car to drive. He usually drives his dad’s stick shift, but Dongyoung’s car was a lot easier to steer. In five minutes, Jaehyun gets dropped off.

 

“You know,” Dongyoung speaks as he gets out of the car to sit in the driver’s seat, “if you ever wanna stay over mine instead of dealing with your shit dad, you can.”

 

Jaehyun winces slightly at the sensitive topic of his dad. He never really talked about it openly before, but his friend only learnt about the situation recently. It was only fair since Sicheng and Yuta already knew about it. Dongyoung was the only one in the dark.

 

“Mom says he’s getting better, but thanks for giving a shit,” Jaehyun jokes lightly, hitting his friend slightly in the shoulder. Dongyoung chuckles a little.

 

“Stay safe,” he says in goodbye.

 

Jaehyun says his goodbye and heads up to his house. A moment later, he hears a car crash into a trash can. He laughs under his breath, and opens the door to his house with his key. He prays that his dad was away at a casino or anything but his own house.

 

The fates were definitely against him that night.

 

On the couch was his gambling addicted father, drunk and useless. His mom was nowhere around, and he assumed that she was already asleep. So, he picks up after his dad, the beer cans littered all over the living room. He sighs once he’s finished. He doesn’t dare turn off the tv program, his dad would just wake up and yell at him.

 

Up the stairs, he hears crying. A bit taken off and surprised, Jaehyun follows where it was coming from. It was from the bathroom. He knocks three times before his mom opens the door for him. His heart breaks for his hard working mother.

 

She smiles sadly at him, her face covered in tears. “You’re gonna be a big brother,” she says weakly.

 

Jaehyun’s heart breaks even more, knowing exactly what that meant. Financially, they were stable, but another child would just send them over the edge. His dad was the owner of a company, but he spent his money recklessly. How would they be capable of raising another baby?

 

Jaehyun just hugs his mom, hoping that would be enough. His mom was a small woman. She had bony fingers and a slim face. Jaehyun was way taller than her, so he engulfs her into a warm hug. He tries to show his love and appreciation for basically raising him by herself everyday. Today, she needed to be reminded how much Jaehyun truly appreciated her.

 

“ _You are the strongest woman I know, mom_ ,” he whispers in korean. She cries softly in his embrace.

 

“ _You are the best son_ ,” she replies in their native language. “ _Such a hardworking boy_.”

 

They stay like that for awhile before Jaehyun breaks away the hug. His mom kisses him on the forehead and sends him to bed. Jaehyun sighs when he gets into his bedroom. He doesn’t know how he’s going to help his family, but he hopes college will give him the opportunity to provide for them.

 

He changes out of his clothes. It was hot in his room, so he went to bed with only his boxers on. After turning off all the lights and brushing his teeth, Jaehyun tries to close his eyes and lul himself to sleep. He was rudely interrupted by yelling outside his window. His window sucked so he could hear everything now.

 

“You really think you mean shit to me?” he hears an angry voice boom.

 

Jaehyun gets out from his bed and looks outside, peeking slightly through his curtains. Outside, Brad and Taeyong were standing near an expensive looking car. He presumes that it was Brad’s because he had seen it around school a lot.

 

“I’m going off to college soon, you’re just another warm mouth to me,” he spits in Taeyong’s face. “What are you going to do? Stay here and fade away, that’s what.”

 

Taeyong flinches when Brad bring a fist down to the hood of his car. Jaehyun wonders why Taeyong isn’t fighting back. He always seemed like a strong person who would never let someone talk to him like that.

 

“You’re a fucking failure,” Brad hisses. That’s when something actually happens.

 

Taeyong punches Brad in the face. He looks furious and he storms away to his house before Brad could retaliate. He didn’t get far until Brad grabbed a hold of Taeyong from behind. He practically picked up the boy by the waist. Brad was ten times his size, the boy didn’t stand a chance fighting back. Taeyong kicked around, and it suddenly dawned to Jaehyun what exactly was happening.

 

It all felt too familiar.

 

He pulled on the closest clothes to him and ran outside. He wore a dirty white shirt and loose shorts, but that didn’t matter when he planned on stopping whatever was going to happen to Taeyong.

 

“Hey!” he shouts to distract Brad. Taeyong’s eyes widen, but he takes that moment to kick Brad and escape his grasp.

 

“Get off me,” he spits, pushing Brad farther away from him.

 

Brad scoffs when he sees Jaehyun. “Fuck off, won’t you?”

 

Jaehyun’s breath hitches when he realizes Brad is coming towards him with his fists balled. He was going to get his ass kicked. The white boy got a pretty good swing. Jaehyun spit the blood out of his mouth before swinging back. At least he got one good hit.

 

Taeyong yells at Jaehyun to stop, but he keeps going. A full fist fight breaks out. He supposes he’s the one winning, but he doesn’t know. Suddenly, Taeyong is pushing him and yelling at the both of them.

 

Brad spits at Jaehyun’s feet and angrily gets into his car. His ears are ringing too much and he feels too numb to realize what just happened. Taeyong and him stand side by side in the older’s front lawn, watching Brad’s expensive car drive away.

 

“You’re so stupid,” he says.

 

Jaehyun nods. “Yeah, I know.”

 

He starts to feel the sting of the cuts on his face. He winces when he touches one of his cuts.

 

“Oh god, you got your ass beat,” Taeyong grimaces. “Here, let me help you. It’s the least I could do.” He leads him into his house and into a bathroom.

 

It smells nice in the bathroom and Jaehyun sits for awhile on edge of the bathtub until Taeyong comes back with a first-aid kit. He looks tired with bags under his eyes, but he still looks handsome to Jaehyun.

 

“My dad gets into a lot of bar fights, so I’m basically a pro at this,” Taeyong jokes lightly. Jaehyun decides to brush off the small worry in the back of his mind.

 

The other boy starts to clean the areas around his cuts. Jaehyun stays quiet for the most part. He winces here and there when Taeyong presses a little bit too hard. The other just mutters a sorry and keeps going.

 

“You know,” he says quietly after awhile, “you didn’t have to help me. I could’ve dealt with it by myself.”

 

Jaehyun tries to raise an eyebrow, but it stings so he stops. “I didn’t want to watch again. I had to at least something.”

 

Taeyong back up a little. He looks surprised, but it doesn’t last long before he’s back to the task at hand. Before either of them know it, Jaehyun’s face is all cleaned up.

 

“You want water or something?” he asks politely.

 

Jaehyun nods stiffly and gets up to follow Taeyong. His house is structured slightly similar to his, but everything about is different. They pass a clock and he looks up at it, only for it to read 12 pm. It didn’t seem that late, and the hour flew by quite quickly.

 

“Is that you?” he points out. On the wall is a collection of family photos and they seem perfect. Taeyong was a cute kid.

 

Taeyong looks back and laughs, embarrassed. “Yeah, back when stuff was actually fun,” he replies.

 

In the photo, he’s at the beach, a big grin on his face and a pink floatie on him. He had to be at least three in that photo.

 

Taeyong hands over a glass of water to Jaehyun, and he takes it gratefully. It’s a bit awkward considering they weren’t that close. Taeyong messes with a bracelet on his wrist and Jaehyun awkwardly stands, not knowing what to do with his hands.

 

“Do you wanna watch the stars with me?” Taeyong asks randomly. Jaehyun nearly chokes on the water.

 

Jaehyun sets the glass down and raises an eyebrow. “Where could we do that?”

 

Taeyong grins mischievously and gestures for him to follow. Jaehyun does and they go up the stairs together. He leads him to his room, and Jaehyun takes a second to look around the slightly messy room. He doesn’t spend too much time, though, because a moment passes and Taeyong is opening his window. He crawls out the window and Jaehyun laughs to himself as he remembers the small memory they shared together.

 

He remembers climbing out of windows with Taeyong long ago. They’re older now, and they’re still jumping out of windows.

 

Taeyong climbs up onto the roof of his house graciously. Jaehyun wonders if he could pull it off without busting his ass even more. He tries, and he nearly falls off the house, but Taeyong catches him with a firm hand. Jaehyun thanks him.

 

“Do you always do dangerous shit like this?” he pants, finally onto the roof.

 

The older boy laughs shortly. “Only when I’m bored, which is all the time in this shit town,” he answers. He lays across the slightly angled roof, and he looks ethereal under the poor lighting.

 

Jaehyun laughs awkwardly. “Yeah, this town is really shit. I applied to colleges already, and my mom is already forcing me to stay here,” he says as he sits next to Taeyong, a small space in between them.

 

Taeyong sits up and gasps dramatically. He ruffles his red hair and sits up straighter, looking like he’s preparing to say something important.

 

“Finally, someone with good music taste and someone who hates this fucking town as much as I do,” he cheers. “Your mom shouldn’t do that. You don’t have to stay here.”

 

Taeyong then pulls out a box of cigarettes from his pocket and lights one. Jaehyun watches in shock, not knowing the older boy smoked.

 

“W-What about you?” he stutters. “What are you doing now that you graduated?”

 

Taeyong takes a long inhale before exhaling from his nose. Jaehyun worried about lighting the house on fire at that moment. He watches flicks of ash fall from his fingertips and onto the backyard. Taeyong looks blank, not a thought scrolling through his brain.

 

“I’m leaving,” he answers. “I don’t know when, but I will.”

 

Jaehyun nods, and Taeyong hands the cigarettes to him. He’s never smoked before, but he’s seen it in the movies. Taeyong looks cool when he smokes. He takes a pull and immediately starts having a cough attack. Taeyong curses under his breath and apologizes, small laughs leaving his lips.

 

“I think I did that wrong,” Jaehyun says between coughs.

 

Taeyong takes the cigarette back and chuckles. “It’s okay. When I first smoked, I nearly died. You’re one of the lucky ones.”

 

Jaehyun hits his chest a little bit, hoping that would calm his lungs, but it only made it worse.

 

“I never wanna do that again,” he rasps. “That was awful.”

 

Taeyong laughs just the smallest bit, and it’s the best thing Jaehyun has ever heard. He smiles, endeared.

 

“It’s not for everybody,” the older boy responds.

 

Beats of silence pass by when Jaehyun and Taeyong just look at the stars. Under the blanket of stars, Jaehyun feels immortal. He feels like nothing can ever touch him again and suddenly, all his problems are no longer. He’s invincible and he’s doing it all with Taeyong.

 

Taeyong, the boy who’s a mystery to all, including Jaehyun.

 

“I should get going,” Jaehyun says quietly, directing his attention away from the stars. He gets up and climbs down the side of the house.

 

After he reaches the ground safely, he looks up to Taeyong peering down at him. He looks cute with his red hair off his forehead and dangling off.

 

“Never change, Jaehyun,” he smiles, and then he looks back at the stars.

 

Jaehyun hopes it won’t be the last time he sees the magical boy. He smiles to himself as he walks back home.

 

He goes to sleep dreaming about magical boys and stars.

 

The next morning fucking sucks.

 

It sucks because his face hurts and his mom is yelling at him.

 

“Can you please explain to me why you suddenly look like you’ve joined fight club?” she shrieks when he makes it downstairs.

 

Jaehyun grimaces at her loud tone. It sparks a headache and he’s very annoyed at the world at this moment.

 

His dad comes downstairs a moment later. His morning became ten times worse after that.

 

“You win at least?” he grumbles when he makes his way around to look at Jaehyun.

 

He wants everybody to shut up so his headache can go away, but these people just start talking even more. He wishes the world had a mute button, but it doesn’t so he hates the world.

 

“I just had a fight with someone at the diner,” he lies. “It really isn’t anything, so you guys can stop talking now.”

 

His dad gets mad at that, he can tell. Jaehyun knows that he said something that his father doesn’t like, so he heads outside to get the mail. He sees Taeyong sitting on the hood of a car with sunglasses on, soaking up the summer sun. He’s wearing red heart shaped glasses, and Jaehyun feels like he’s in some rom-com.

 

“How’s your face?” Taeyong shouts from across the street. He lowers his sunglasses and Jaehyun feels his throat tighten up.

 

“I-It hurts, but I’m good, I guess,” he answers, stuttering.

 

He can see Taeyong’s smile from all the where he stands. Jaehyun nods awkwardly, not knowing what to say, and heads back inside with the mail in his hands.

 

“That boy’s something else,” he hears his dad say when he gets back into the house. That stops Jaehyun.

 

He looks back at the door and then back at his dad. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. What did his dad know about Taeyong and why did he know?

 

“What are you saying?” he asks with curiosity.

 

His dad just waves his hand around, almost dismissively. “I heard Eunjae say all types of things about him,” he sighs. “He’s nothing but a disrespectful son that gets on his parents’ nerves on purpose.”

 

His father looks at him with a stern eye and continues, “You’ll never be like that. Right, Jaehyunnie?”

 

He gulps nervously and nods slowly. His dad laughs bitterly and stands up from where he sat in their morning room.

 

“Plus, he’s a homo. Boy’s got fucking aids, or something,” he jokes cruelly, hitting his son on the back as he leaves to the living room.

 

Jaehyun bites the inside of his cheek until it starts bleeding. He wonders how someone could turn out to be such a shithead. Ignoring his dickhead of a father, he goes upstairs to his room. In his room, he looks out the window to see Taeyong still laying on the yellow car from earlier, a book in hand.

 

He sighs in frustration and goes to clean his room, or something that won’t drive him insane. He takes awhile to clean the whole place, even though it was a moderately small room. After he finishes, he lays on his bed and stares at the ceiling. Blank.

 

His mind was completely blank.

 

He wanted to leave this town as soon as possible, but his mother would never let him. He would never let himself because he knew his mom would still need him. He thinks about what Taeyong said last night and considers it. His mom can’t control him forever. He deserves to go out and discover himself. It’s not his job to take care of his mom.

 

Not a second later, Jaehyun curses his own thoughts and regrets ever thinking like that. His mom did the most for him, providing a little bit of money for them was hardly anything. It was the least he could do, and here he was, wanting to abandon the one woman that cared for him most.

 

His dad could fuck himself for all he cared. It was his mom that he really cared for, and his future younger brother or sister needed him there. So, he thought going to a local college in this small town wouldn’t be so bad. It couldn’t hurt. Once he gets enough money and establishes himself, he can leave.

 

Any idea would sound more appealing.

  


Days pass by and Jaehyun’s reminded how boring summer can get in a town like the one he lives in. There’s absolutely nothing to do. He spent most of his days cutting the grass and helping around the house. It was such a fun way to spend summer.

 

His friends hadn’t contacted him in awhile, and their probably doing exactly what he was doing. They were probably going nuts over having nothing to do, just like he was.

 

He hadn’t seen Taeyong in a long time. He’s probably out on some big senior trip before all his friends leave for college or something. Jaehyun didn’t really care, but he was curious. He wondered if he was having fun. Taeyong always has fun, or he is the fun.

 

It was the end of June when his summer really changed, or really when his life changed.

 

It was two am, it was dark and he couldn’t fall asleep. His mind was going eighty miles per hour, and sleep was the last thing on his mind. It was also extremely hot. Why was it always so hot in America? Fuck America.

 

In frustration, he opens his window, but that only lets hot air in. He groans loudly and removes his t-shirt. Lying in bed in only his grey boxers, he kicks off his blanket and continues to stare up at his ceiling. The back of his neck was all sweaty and he could feel his hair sticking to it. He needed a haircut.

 

Jaehyun thought about all the things he could possibly do at that moment. He could play Super Contra for the hundredth time, but he didn’t feel like it. He was seventeen and had no idea how he was going to survive this awfully boring summer. Isn’t the summer before your senior year supposed to be the best one?

 

Or was that the summer after your senior year?

 

He didn’t know and quite frankly, he didn’t care. He just wanted to have an adventure.

 

His eyes were getting heavier and heavier, and eventually he fell into a light sleep. It was that weird in between sleep where you’re not actually asleep, but you feel like you are. He could still hear the crickets chirping loudly, but his mind was off.

 

His light sleep was interrupted by a thud.

 

Jaehyun jumps out of bed and grabs the baseball bat that sat in the corner of his room for the longest time, unused. He lifts it up, ready to attack the intruder that just stormed, or fell, into his room at two in the morning.

 

“Woah, it’s me, it’s me!” the voice whispers loudly, hands covering his head to protect himself from any swing Jaehyun was going to deliver.

 

Once he figures out who it is that decided to give him a visit, he drops the bat loudly.

 

“Taeyong?” he says into the room, beyond confused.

 

Taeyong gets up from his crouched position on the ground and starts laughing. “Man, you should’ve seen your face,” he says in between laughs. “You were so ready to beat my ass.”

 

Jaehyun becomes even more confused.

 

“What the hell are you doing here?” he asks, still beyond confused at what was going on.

 

Taeyong grins, trouble written all over his face. It was a look Jaehyun knew. He had seen it when he was eight and naive. He saw it when he was twelve and stupid, and he’s seeing it now.

 

“Why don’t we go on an adventure?”

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back bitches
> 
> this is really cringe and bad but im trying to get back into writing so :D
> 
> follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/taeyngluvr) !


	2. adventures

 

 

**STILL: MOSIER, OREGON**

 

 

Adventures with Taeyong were always fun.

 

He would say yes to any adventure Taeyong had to offer, but right now, in the summer of ‘88, he might just have to say no on an adventure.

 

“W-What kind of adventure?” Jaehyun asks when he realizes what Taeyong is exactly asking. He’s still not sure.

 

He suddenly becomes hyper aware of his bare chest. Jaehyun grapples for a t-shirt to throw on.

 

“You hate this town just as much as I do,” Taeyong whispers. Jaehyun isn’t sure why he’s whispering, but he guesses it’s for the best. His parents might just wake up. “So, let’s get out of here.”

 

Once he’s got his shirt on and his head out of the shirt hole, he looks at Taeyong like he’s lost his mind. Taeyong had a backpack, ripped jeans, and a simple white tee. His shoes were these boots that he always wore. There were black and getting dirt all over Jaehyun’s carpet. He was planning on running away with just that.

 

“What?” he repeats. “You wanna runaway with me?” he pauses.

 

Taeyong nods and grabs hold of Jaehyun’s shoulders. “Just think about it. You have a car.”

 

Jaehyun’s eyes narrowed down at Taeyong. He was beyond confused. Why was Taeyong coming to him about this? Why would he want to run away with Jaehyun? Out of all the people he could run away with, why Jaehyun? He could’ve chose a friend that was graduated just like him, but Jaehyun was still in school. He still had a whole year left, but Taeyong seemed pretty confident that Jaehyun would agree.

 

He was so confident that he started to pack for Jaehyun. He grabs Jaehyun’s backpack and dumps out the old books and notebooks onto the floor, causing a ruckus.

 

“I don’t have a car,” Jaehyun speaks. Taeyong stops packing.

 

“Well, steal your shithole dad’s truck,” he supplies like it was obvious. “Problem solved. Get changed, I’ll be in the car.” Taeyong then shoves the backpack into Jaehyun’s chest and goes to climb out of the window.

 

Jaehyun realizes how crazy the situation he was in right now. His crush was asking him to run away with him. His crush wanted to leave town with him, and he was considering it. This was wild.

 

“I can’t just leave town like this,” he says weakly. “I still have one year of school left. I can’t just fucking leave, Taeyong.”

 

Taeyong stops and looks at him blankly. “Sure you can.”

 

Jaehyun groans throws his backpack on his bed and runs his hands through his messy hair. He tugs at it a little bit just to make sure this wasn’t some crazy dream he was having. He wanted to make this was real.

 

“Why would I just drop everything and leave?” he asks slowly, trying to make some sense from this situation.

 

Taeyong walks up to him and grabs his face with both of his hands. Jaehyun stiffens at the contact, but stares into Taeyong’s determined eyes. He was not going to let this go. They both know this.

 

“We both hate this town more than anything in this world. We both want to escape this shit town. Now’s our chance,” he says softly. His fingers trace Jaehyun’s lips, and he feels like he’s being hypnotized.

 

He probably was being hypnotized because at that moment, he crosses the room and puts on his favorite jeans. On his way out, he grabs his oversized red flannel that he wore all the time. Gesturing for Taeyong to stay quiet, he opens his door and walks out into the hallway. He hopes to any god that his parents are fast asleep.

 

Jaehyun passes by their bedroom door and Taeyong follows closely, giggling into his back.

 

“I’m trying to find my dad’s keys, shush,” he whispers, almost a little bit too loudly. Taeyong just puts a hand over his own mouth.

 

They walk down the stairs and they creak under their weight. Jaehyun curses a sigh of relief when they make it to the bottom. They’re almost there. He looks around for the keys his father always leaves on the kitchen table, but they weren’t there. His dad wasn’t out tonight, so he was confused.

 

Taeyong carries both of their bags and walks around the living room, touching everything. He chuckles quietly at a childhood photo of Jaehyun. The younger boy takes the time to look everywhere for the damn keys to the truck.

 

“Looking for these?” a voice speaks from the bottom of the staircase. Jaehyun stiffens and his heart jumps out of his throat. Keys rattle behind him.

 

Taeyong snaps around quickly and Jaehyun stays still, his back facing the person who had just joined them. He knows exactly who it is, but he’s too scared to face them. It was now or never.

 

Jaehyun quickly jumps around and punches his dad square in the jaw. His dad recoils and drops the keys. Taeyong snatches them quickly off the ground and turns to sprint out of the house.

 

“Hurry the fuck up!” he shouts, the door already wide open.

 

Jaehyun looks at his recovering dad, his breaths coming in short pants. He slowly backs away as he still looks at his father on the ground. Nearly tripping as he walks backwards, Jaehyun turns and looks at the door that was wide open, tempting him to runaway.

 

His red converse shoes were dirty and a little tattered from overuse, but he took those shoes and sprinted right out of his house. He didn’t even have them on, just his white socks. He sprints to the red pickup truck and tries to jump in along with Taeyong. The window was down on Taeyong’s side, and he jumps through there, but Jaehyun struggles with unlocking the driver’s side.

 

“Oh my god, just get in,” Taeyong says loudly, opening the door for him.

 

Jaehyun fumbles with the keys and eventually turns on the ignition. It coughs and stirs, but Jaehyun hits the pedal quickly. He can see his dad run out of the house, screaming after them, but he just goes faster.

 

The windows are down and the speed of the car isn’t that fast, but the wind blows throughout the car freely. The radio is turned on and Taeyong laughs like a maniac. Their hearts are still going twenty miles an hour.

 

“Did I just punch my dad?” he says between harsh breaths. “Did I seriously just steal his truck?”

 

Taeyong leans back into the seat he sits in and his laughter dies down. His eyes twinkle with mischief. This was their adventure. It had finally started.

 

“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” he says whistily. “You are one groovy boy, Jaehyun.”

 

Taeyong leans over the console and kisses Jaehyun on the cheek. He can feel his face burn up, but he looks over at the older boy and smiles sheepishly.

 

The older boy then pulls up his own backpack and digs through the contents inside of it. He pulls out a large map of America and a red marker a second later. He leans it against the dashboard and starts to circle a bunch of things on it. He places the cap of the marker in his mouth, and his eyebrows furrowed as he thought about what to circle.

 

Once he was finished, he caps the marker and holds the map up proudly. Jaehyun takes his eyes off the road for a second to glance over at the map.

 

“Here’s where we’re going,” he points to New York on the map and raises an eyebrow at Jaehyun. “Think we can do it?”

 

Jaehyun looks back at the road, which was almost entirely empty, and he shrugs as he thinks about it in his head. They live in a small town across the country, how were they going to pull this off without dying? Did they properly think this out? Did either of them have any money?

 

_Oh god._

 

“I mean, yeah,” he answers halfheartedly. Taeyong cheers and turns up the volume to the radio.

 

Tears For Fears plays throughout the truck loudly. Taeyong gasps like he found gold, and he practically screams along with the chorus.

 

Jaehyun laughs and keeps driving. At this point, he’s just driving aimlessly. He decides the first place they should stop by should be somewhere far off, so he keeps going until he sees the sign.

 

_You are now leaving Mosier! Visit again soon!_

 

He never wants to see that sign ever again.

 

**REDMOND, OREGON**

It’s that weird night between morning time when they decide they should take a rest stop. He’s been driving for about two hours now, and he was the one that drove the whole way. Every once and awhile, his eyes drooped. He nearly crashed into a tree this one time when he dozed off for a millisecond.

 

He drives down all of US-97 without any help from Taeyong. They didn’t get to switch because Taeyong was sleeping soundly by the time they made it to the second town over their own. He let the older boy get his sleep, but he was only slightly mad about driving for two hours straight. The tank is nearly empty.

 

He stops by a breakfast place. It’s four am. He’s been up all night and if he doesn’t stop, he’s going to be dead before they even make it out of their state.

 

“Hey,” he shakes Taeyong’s sleepy shoulder. “Wake up, we gotta eat,” he says to wake the boy up.

 

Taeyong wakes up slowly and yawns loudly. “Where are we?” he asks.

 

Jaehyun looks up at the diner. “Patty’s, it’s a breakfast place,” Jaehyun answers. “It said so on your map of Oregon.”

 

Taeyong rolls his eyes and turns to face Jaehyun. He looks tired. Jaehyun wonders what he looks like. He probably looks like shit. Tonight was really something for him. He basically just pulled an allnighter. One step out of this truck and he’ll pass out.

 

“We’re still in Oregon?” Taeyong pouts.

 

Jaehyun scoffs. “What, you want me to drive all the way to New York in one go?” he says sarcastically. “Nope, we’re taking turns.”

 

“Alright, let’s eat here and I can drive to some motel, okay?” Taeyong responds smoothly, his voice a bit croaky from sleep. “We can rest a bit before setting off.”

 

Jaehyun agrees and they’re out of the truck a moment later. He stretches his tight limbs a bit before walking into the diner with Taeyong. It’s a cute breakfast place with a waffle mascot in the front standing made out of cardboard. Taeyong tips it over before sitting himself down. Jaehyun follows.

 

“Let’s see what this shithole sells,” Taeyong mutters, grabbing a menu. His eyes scan the menu quickly before he sets it down and pulls something out of his backpack.

 

Out of his backpack, he brings his red heart sunglasses out and places them on his face. He then leans against the window dramatically. Jaehyun watches him in interest. Taeyong then lowers his glasses and raises an eyebrow at Jaehyun. He quickly looks away and instead directs his attention to the rain starting outside. He can hear Taeyong chuckling at him, but he decides to ignore it and let his face grow red.

 

A waitress comes over to take their orders a moment later. Jaehyun is grateful because he was going to cry if he had to spend another awkward moment with Taeyong. She was a good looking young woman with a blonde perm and vibrant blue eyeshadow. She chews obnoxiously on her bubblegum and asks for their order.

 

“I would like pancakes with extra strawberries on top and some sausages. Waffles seem like the only good thing you guys have here, so an order of that please,” Taeyong orders. “Can you put some extra sausages in there, too? I just love sausages so much.”

 

The waitress raises an eyebrow at him and continues to chew her gum. “Quite a lot, ain't it, little boy?”

 

Taeyong laughs insincerely. “And some chocolate fucking milk,” he curses.

 

Jaehyun’s eyes widen and he doesn’t know what to say after that. The waitress just gives the older boy a dirty glare. She directs her attention towards Jaehyun instead, not dwelling of Taeyong’s rudeness.

 

“And for you, handsome?” she asks, her gum obnoxiously bright in her mouth.

 

Jaehyun looks at the menu and then back at Taeyong who was playing with his own red hair. Taeyong raises both eyebrows at him, gesturing for him to order already.

 

“Just some waffles and orange juice, please,” he orders politely.

 

The waitress winks and walks away with their orders in her notepad. Taeyong scoffs and swings his legs over so he could lean back against the window instead of the sticky booth seats.

 

“Did you bring any money?” Jaehyun asks as he starts playing with the sugar packets like he always does. He rips one open and it spills all over the blue table.

 

Taeyong shrugs. “I stole my step-dad’s wallet, but who knows how long that’ll last us.” He pulls out a wallet from out of his jacket pocket.

 

He was wearing an ugly brown jacket with patches all over it and his t-shirt was simply white. His dark ripped jeans showed his skinny knees and his clunky black boots made him seem intimidating. He was dressed like some punk in a music video.

 

Jaehyun looks down at his own outfit, which was a lot more boring than Taeyong’s. His red flannel hadn’t been washed in a long time and his white tee had a small barbeque stain at the bottom. His jeans looked pretty nice, though. They were ripped only slightly at the knee unlike Taeyong’s, which showed his whole entire knee.

 

The silence dragged on as they waited for their food. Jaehyun continues to play with the sugar packets, making a mess around the table. Taeyong soon follows him, doing the same and making a flower pattern on his side of the table. Jaehyun made a snowman.

 

The waitress comes back with their food some time later and Taeyong smiles fakely at the woman as she set his large plate down. She tells them to enjoy and walks away with a flip of her hair.

 

“She seems fake as shit,” Taeyong mutters. “I hate fake people.”

 

He pokes around his food and glares at it. Jaehyun digs into his waffles after pouring an excessive amount of syrup on them.

 

“Their waffles are good,” he says with food in his mouth. He gulps the sweet tasting food and goes to sip his orange juice.

 

Taeyong continues to glare at his food before speaking up loudly, “She definitely spit in my food. Jokes on her, I have a spit kink!”

 

Jaehyun chokes on his orange juice and coughs violently. Taeyong laughs at him and starts to cut up his pancakes. They sit in silence as they eat their food. Taeyong finishes his large plate  before Jaehyun finishes his, and he’s a little surprised at how much the older boy can eat, but he’s not here to judge.

 

“So, when’s your dad gonna call the police?” he asks, throwing his fork down on his empty plate. He burps a little and sighs, waiting for Jaehyun to answer.

 

Jaehyun chews on his waffle and shrugs. “Dunno, depends on when my mom wakes up.”

 

Taeyong stares him down intently, like he’s trying to drive something out of Jaehyun. He’s not sure what he’s trying to get at, but it’s freaking Jaehyun a little bit out.

 

“My parents won’t call,” he says after a beat. “They basically begged me to runaway.”

 

Jaehyun raises his eyebrows and nods slowly. He didn’t know if Taeyong was going to continue to dwell on that, but he didn’t want the other to overshare. They aren’t exactly the bestest of friends. Hell, Jaehyun’s still confused on why Taeyong chose him to runaway with.

 

“Well, my mom just found out she was pregnant, so I kind of feel like shit for leaving her with that asshole,” Jaehyun mumbles. He bites his bottom lip worryingly. He tries not to think about it too much.

 

Taeyong hums in response.

 

That’s the extent of their conversation.

 

Neither of them wanted to overshare. The air wasn’t awkward around them because they’ve known each other for the longest time. They were neighbors, but they knew hardly anything about each other. They only knew the surface.

 

Jaehyun continues to finish up his breakfast. He can feel himself already dozing off. Taeyong clinks his ring up against his glass as he waits for the other to finish.

 

“You were on the basketball team, right?” Taeyong asks, his voice sounding a bit bored. Jaehyun nods in response and Taeyong sits up a bit straighter. “I take it you still don’t talk a lot, do you?”

 

That makes Jaehyun chuckle at the memories of their past meetings. Jaehyun was always known for being a little more on the quiet side. He was still outgoing, but he prefered to keep to himself sometimes. Taeyong was like that too. Maybe that’s why they get along so well.

 

“So you know Johnny, right?” he questions further on. Jaehyun nods some more and chews slowly. He was slightly confused about the questions, but he answers silently anyway.

 

“We didn’t really talk, but yeah, I knew him,” he further answers. “Why?”

 

Taeyong shrugs. “He was the last person I talked to before we left. Just thought we could talk about someone we both know.”

 

Jaehyun, again, nods slowly. He didn’t exactly know Johnny, but he knew of him. The boy was a senior, so they didn’t really talk outside of basketball. Jaehyun only talked to him once outside of their sport. It was during a fire drill and Johnny joked about how if there was an actual fire, he would’ve died because he was talking a piss in the bathroom at the time of the drill. He was a funny guy.

 

“I mean, yeah, I guess,” he mutters, poking the left overs of his waffles. “You guys were friends, right?”

 

Taeyong laughs lightly, like he was reminiscing on an old memory. Jaehyun had seen them hang around each other a lot during school.

 

“You could say that,” answers Taeyong. Jaehyun doesn’t want him to elaborate. “We dated in freshman year, but that lasted, like, a day. We were the bestest of friends,” he says dramatically.

 

Jaehyun continues to eat his food silently. He zones out a bit, and Taeyong continues to talk.

 

“He was the one that told me I should run away with you,” he adds softly.

 

Jaehyun thinks he chokes on a piece of waffle, but really he was just extremely shocked. How could someone like Johnny think like that? What could’ve he possibly done that made him seem like a good candidate?

 

“He didn’t happen to tell you why, did he?” asks Jaehyun.

 

Taeyong shrugs. “He just told me to trust him, and now we’re here.” He grins kindly and Jaehyun feels a sting of something different.

 

He felt like maybe Taeyong didn’t want to run away with him. Was he planning on running away with Johnny, but the other had told him to take Jaehyun instead? Why was he the one to swoop Taeyong out of that small town?

 

He finishes his food, ending the conversation by standing up abruptly. Taeyong throws down a twenty dollar bill before they walk out of the diner together. Jaehyun enters the truck through the passenger side, and he passes out right when he rests his head.

 

Somewhere in his light sleep he can hear Taeyong singing lightly to Tears For Fears.

  


When he wakes up, they’re at a pink motel.

 

Taeyong shakes his shoulders lightly, but when he doesn’t wake up right away, he shakes them a lot harder. He groans loudly and swats at the other boy.

 

“We’re here,” Taeyong says loudly to wake him up. “We need to rent out a room. I filled the tank up, by the way.”

 

Jaehyun sighs and opens his eyes. It was bright and the pink motel only made it brighter. He didn’t know what time it was, but it had to be early afternoon. The drive didn’t seem that long, and he wants to sleep some more, but he doesn’t know what Taeyong wants.

 

He nods and gets out of the truck to rent a room. The sun was bright and hot already. Jaehyun could feel the sweat building up on his back, and he felt gross. Once they enter the front desk, the AC is relieving. Jaehyun audibly sighs in relief.

 

“Can we rent out a room for tonight?” Jaehyun asks politely. He decides he should be the one talking after figuring out Taeyong’s short temper with strangers. “Two beds, please.”

 

The old lady gives a judgmental glance at Taeyong, who was leaning against the desk a lot, looking through the lollipop bowl. Taeyong looks up blankly, adjusting his big yellow sunglasses and notices the attention on him. He smiles cheekily before picking a cherry lolli to suck on. The old lady just mutters something under her breath and goes away for a second.

 

Jaehyun and Taeyong wait for a little bit. The younger of the two raps his fingers against the desk as he waits and Taeyong tries to get him to stop by grabbing a hold of his hand. Jaehyun stops immediately and takes his hand out of the hold quickly. The older quietly scoffs and leans back against the desk, his bony elbows holding his weight.

 

He turns his his head towards the lady that rejoins them. She looks bored and tired of her life already. Jaehyun feels kind of sorry for her.

 

“We don’t have any open rooms, sorry,” she says monotonously.

 

Taeyong whips around and slams his hands down, startling the other two a bit. He looks ticked off and annoyed. He takes of his bulky glasses and glares down the woman. If they were going to get into a fight right now, Jaehyun would appreciate it if Taeyong made it quick because he was tired and just wanted to sleep.

 

“What do you mean there aren’t any open rooms?” he says in disbelief. It was a bitter question. “Your vacancy sign is up, somebody is lying here.”

 

Jaehyun puts a hand over his face in a facepalm, like he was suffering second-hand embarrassment. He started to chew on his knuckles and let his other hand rest on his hip as his foot taps against the moldy looking carpet.

 

The lady rolls her eyes rudely and explains, “There’s only one room open.”

 

Taeyong unexpectedly grins nicely and throws his hands up in victory. He turns to Jaehyun and winks before putting his lollipop back into his mouth. He seems happy now knowing there’s one room open for them.

 

But then the old woman adds, “it only has one bed, which does not suit you boys.”

 

The glare is back on his face.

 

“We’ll take it,” Jaehyun says quickly before Taeyong could say anything to get them into trouble. The old woman looks at them suspiciously, but hands them their key anyway.

 

Taeyong makes sure to send a mean glare over his shoulder before they exit the air conditioned building. Jaehyun tries to shove him along so they could leave faster.

 

“She was such an asshole,” he curses once their outside. He grabs the straps of his backpack tightly in frustration.

 

Jaehyun sighs loudly in frustration. This trip with Taeyong was already getting on his nerves. He wants the older boy to shut up and stop fighting everyone who gives him the slightest inconvenience. How could someone be so immature? He really knew nothing about Taeyong at this point.

 

“Are you going to fight every fucking person we meet on this trip?” he snaps as he digs through the truck to find something they might need. Jaehyun grabs his own backpack and makes his way towards the room they were going to stay in.

 

Taeyong stood stunned at Jaehyun’s sour mood. He didn’t walk to catch up with the younger boy, he just stands in the middle of the parking lot with a pout. He looks like a child just standing there with his lollipop and purple backpack.

 

When Jaehyun starts to open the door to the motel, Taeyong follows in quietly. He doesn’t talk as they settle down. The older boy goes to the bathroom with his toothbrush and toothpaste, quietly announcing he was going to brush his teeth. Jaehyun makes a noise of acknowledgment and lays across the bed.

 

He makes a sound of relief when his back meets the creaky bed. Looking over at the clock on the nightstand, he reads 7am. He thinks about all the hours of sleep he had gotten and decides a small nap never hurt anybody. Almost instantly, he falls asleep.

  
  


There’s noise coming from the TV. Jaehyun’s tired eyes creakily open. He notices Taeyong sitting on the carpet near the bottom of the bed. Taeyong’s light laugh fills the room for a short time as he laughs at the show on the TV. He was watching _Dallas_ and Jaehyun wonders if that’s all he’s been doing while Jaehyun was asleep.

 

“What time is it?” he asks groggily. Taeyong turns around to look at him and lowers the volume of the TV. Jaehyun waves tiredly, but it’s ignored.

 

“About 8pm,” he answers. “You slept for a really long time. How do you do that?”

 

Jaehyun sits up and stretches. He shrugs, rubbing his eyes. “Years of practice and being sleep deprived.” Taeyong laughs weakly.

 

The air around them is awkward and stiff. Jaehyun doesn’t really know how to act around someone so short tempered. He never struggled talking with Taeyong freely, but he’s finding it hard right now. His moodiness sent him snapping slightly at Taeyong. He doesn’t know how the other boy feels about it, and he really doesn’t want to be on Taeyong’s bad side right now.

 

They’re barely at the edge of Oregon, how are they going to survive the rest of their travels if they’re planning to go all the way to New York.

 

Taeyong looks like he’s debating on whether or not to say something. It’s a bit frustrating to watch because Jaehyun just wants to know what’s on his mind. He wants to know all about the older boy. He wants to know all about the things he wasn’t allowed to know back in their hometown.

 

The older boy was picking at his nails and looks conflicted. He opens his mouth once before shutting it and standing up. “Do you want something from the vending?” he asks, digging a couple cents out of his jeans.

 

Jaehyun says no, and the other makes his way out of the door. He picks at the hole in his jeans as he waits for the other to return. His mind fills with worry as he thinks of a way to apologize for snapping earlier. It was uncalled for and now he’s starting to regret. The woman was being rude after all.

 

Taeyong comes back with some pop. He looks tired and that worries Jaehyun farther.

 

“I’m really sorry,” he starts, “for snapping earlier,” he finishes choppily. Taeyong nods and smiles weakly in answer. “I swear, I’m not usually that big of an asshole.”

 

“I know I’ve got a shitty attitude,” he responds softly. “I got us some ramen, if your hungry,” he says carefully.

 

This was a total personality change from Taeyong. Someone who was so strong and unapologetic turned into someone careful and conscious. Jaehyun didn’t like that, he wanted Taeyong to say whatever was on his mind. He didn’t want him change at all.

 

He tries to brush the awkwardness. Jaehyun then realizes he’s hogging up all of the bed. There’s only one bed in this shitty motel, and the least he could do is get up so Taeyong could rest a bit.

 

Once he starts getting up, Taeyong protests. He says something along the lines of him not being tired, but Jaehyun sees past that and sits next to the older boy on the floor. With their backs leaning against the bed, they watch a bad episode of _Dallas._ They eat ramen together silently.

 

“I always snapped a lot back home,” Taeyong confesses quietly. His voice soft, but the topic, Jaehyun knows, is going to be hard to digest. “My step-dad would always tell me that was gonna get me nowhere. So, he tried to shut me up by hitting me.”

 

Jaehyun stares at Taeyong’s side profile. He doesn’t know why he’s telling him, Jaehyun of all people, this fragile information.

 

“Didn’t really work because I just kept being a pain in the ass,” he continues, laughing bitterly. “Brad used to hit me a lot, too.” Jaehyun holds his breath and for a second he doesn’t know how to react.

 

He speaks up finally and softly, “Why are you telling me this?”

 

Taeyong turns to look at Jaehyun, his eyes soft and vulnerable. They hardly know each other, this emotional dump was unexpected and new to the both of them.

 

Under the blue light of the TV, Taeyong looks beautiful. His eyes look like they sparkle, but that’s probably just in his mind.

 

“Because it’s easy,” his voice is soft and light as he says this.

 

Their so, so close that Jaehyun can see the scar next to Taeyong’s right eye. He’s never seen that before. He thinks about leaning in a bit more, but he still doesn’t know how he feels about Taeyong.

 

Does he like Taeyong in that way, or does he like him in admiration? He doesn’t really know how to answer his own question. Jaehyun never asked himself or questioned his sexuality. He’s had girlfriends before, but Taeyong was always someone he has wanted to impress. Does that make him bisexual? Jaehyun doesn’t really know.

 

Jaehyun does know that Taeyong is the most beautiful person he’s ever met. That’s one thing.

 

So, he voices it.

 

“You should never change,” he says delicately. “You’re beautiful, Taeyong.”

 

Taeyong smiles sadly. He looks down at his empty ramen cup, but Jaehyun keeps looking at the beautiful boy in front of him.

 

“I’m not some damsel, okay?” Taeyong replies with a smile, “but thank you. You’re the only one who has ever said that to me.”

 

Jaehyun considers that a victory.

 

“I never thought of you as some damsel,” Jaehyun adds, bumping Taeyong with his shoulder lightly.

 

This was getting too cheesy for him. Jaehyun feels like the main character of some teen movie, and he hates it, but then he realizes he’s here, right now, with a boy so far away from him. He’s here with a boy he never thought would look at him seriously, but Taeyong’s here and they’re together on their way to New York.

 

The older boy takes a deep breath. “I wanna stop by Texas,” he confesses. Jaehyun is shocked. “I know that completely throws us off, but I need to see someone. Just trust me, yeah?”

 

Jaehyun looks at him like he has three heads, and then he composes himself a bit. He starts to nod slowly, and that causes Taeyong to get all excited. He’s up and jumping around so quick that it gives Jaehyun whiplash. He throws his arms around Jaehyun in a big hug, and the younger takes a second to fully comprehend that they were hugging. He tentatively wraps his arms around Taeyong’s waist and keeps him there.

 

“Thank you, Jaehyun,” he whispers into the other’s shoulder.

 

He pulls back and grins widely before kissing the younger on the cheek. Jaehyun’s blushing in a second. Taeyong just ruffles his hair and chuckles at him. The red haired boy plops down onto the creaky bed and gets under the covers. Jaehyun wonders if he should set a spot for himself on the floor, but he wasn’t that tired.

 

He considers watching TV all night. That was a bad idea though because that would just throw his sleeping schedule off.

 

Jaehyun goes to the bathroom with his toothbrush to wash up. He looks at his reflection. He looks tired. The guilt of leaving is starting to get at him so suddenly. Jaehyun never thought he would actually leave. It was always a dream for him, never to be set into reality. Now he’s finally doing it. It was all so sudden and new to him, but this was happening.

 

He spends a good two minutes panicking. He panics because he’s scared that the authorities will track him down. His father will be pissed, that’s for sure. He panics when he thinks about his mom. Jaehyun had left her. The guilt is starting to eat him whole.

 

The shivers crawl up his back and to stop them he splashes warm water on his face. As he looks back at his reflection, he feels as if he might start crying. The fear of crying hits him and he blinks away any wetness in his eyes.

 

When he’s back, Taeyong has his eyes closed. He looks like he’s asleep, and Jaehyun didn’t want to bother, so he sets himself up on the small comfy chair.

 

Taeyong then opens his eyes and gazes out at Jaehyun. When they make eye contact, Taeyong gestures for Jaehyun to sleep next to him. The brunette doesn’t know how to react, he’s a little flustered.

 

Taeyong has his jeans off and is just lying there with boxers. Jaehyun supposes that’s normal, but he still remains flustered.

 

“Come on,” Taeyong coaxes, opening the blanket up for the younger. “I don’t bite.”

 

Jaehyun struggles with his inner conscience. He could slide into the averagely sized motel bed and sleep normally, or he could protest and sleep on the dirty motel carpet. Taeyong didn’t seem to mind, so he wasn’t hurting anybody. He might hurt his dignity.

 

After a solid thirty seconds of just standing, Jaehyun decides it wouldn’t be so bad. He awkwardly gets under the covers with Taeyong, who slides over a bit more to fit the younger into the bed. He still wears his jeans, but his flannel was tossed over the mini couch, he’s still mostly clothed. Taeyong on the other hand, might as well be half naked. They both take up most of the space on the bed. Thankfully, there’s a comfortable space between them.

“This isn’t so bad,” Taeyong whispers. It’s dark, but they can see each other clearly. “Sleeping with jeans seems quite uncomfy. You sure you’re fine?”

 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he replies weakly.

 

Taeyong shrugs. “Whatever you’re comfortable with,” he says.

 

They fall into a comfortable silence. The two boys lay on their back, gazing up at the ugly popcorn ceiling. There’s a loud buzz coming from the AC. It’s way too cold in the room, but Jaehyun would prefer freezing than melting in the summer heat.

 

Jaehyun turns his head so he could look at Taeyong. The moon creates a natural light for them and it falls onto Taeyong’s sleepy face. His red hair is splayed over the pillows. He looks ethereal.

 

“What are we doing?” he asks, his voice almost inaudible. He wants to know.

 

Taeyong takes a shaky breath. He doesn’t answer, and that’s all Jaehyun needs to know. Neither of them know what’s going on or what’s going to happen. Taeyong has to be scared, just like him.

 

The older boy turns his head as well so their noses are almost touching, so close. With droopy eyes, he searches Jaehyun’s wide eyes for something. Neither of them know what he’s looking for.

 

“We’re getting out of here,” the older boy states. He seems so confident, but they both know it’s just a coverup for how scared the both of them are.

 

“How are we going to pull this off?” Jaehyun asks again.

 

Taeyong seems to hesitate further. He opens and closes his mouth. Jaehyun can practically see the gears in Taeyong’s shifting as he tries to find an answer. There is no answer.

 

“You’re just going to have to trust me,” Taeyong settle with.

 

Jaehyun wants to trust Taeyong, he really does. How is he going to trust someone that barely knows what they’re doing? That’s exactly what Jaehyun’s doing. He’s trusting someone who’s traveling in the dark just like him.

 

“I trust you,” he whispers.

 

Jaehyun knows it’s crazy. He knows that he’s going to regret this, but at this moment he’s completely fine with putting his life in Taeyong’s care. He’s completely fine with caring for Taeyong’s life, too.

 

He truly doesn’t know what’s going through his mind at this moment. He can feel his mind going completely blank, only focusing on Taeyong. At this moment, he feels incredibly quiet with only static interrupting the quiet.

 

“You’re perfect,” he blurts.  

 

Taeyong looks startled. He quickly recovers and turns so his whole body is facing Jaehyun. His loose shirt falls a little and Jaehyun can see collarbone on display. He looks so delicate like this.. He doesn’t want to blush, but he doubts Taeyong will see the color across his cheeks.

 

“I’m far from perfect,” the older replies. “You barely know me.”

 

“I know you enough,” Jaehyun protests.

 

Their voices are quiet, but they feel loud in this silence.

 

Taeyong shakes his head slightly. “You think you do,” he looks sad as he admits this.

 

He then gives Jaehyun a tender kiss on the forehead. Jaehyun wants to scream, and his face goes hot at the contact. Taeyong pulls back slowly and starts to doze off. Meanwhile, Jaehyun’s heart is running fast out of his chest, sleep completely off of his mind.

 

He forces himself to close his eyes. He doesn’t dream a lot, but if he were to dream, he would dream of highways and Taeyong.

  


Waking up is chaos.

 

There’s loud music playing in their room and Jaehyun’s neck is sore. He rubs at his eyes to wake himself up and winces at the sun beaming down at him through the window. _Love My Way_ by the Psychedelic Furs is blasting. Jaehyun kinda hates that song.

 

He lets his eyes adjust before he sits up to look around the room. When he sits up, he snorts an ugly laugh and covers his mouth immediately. He fights a laugh because at the foot of the motel bed Taeyong is dancing.

 

Taeyong is dancing in just his boxers and a large t-shirt with tube socks.

 

He has the radio up all the way and he’s dancing ridiciously. Jaehyun has never seen him like this, and when the older takes notice of the brunette being awake, he waves enthusiastically. He goes to get Jaehyun out of the bed to dance with him, but Jaehyun stays still in the warm bed. Taeyong gives up trying to move him and rolls his eyes teasingly.

 

“Guess I’ll just have to give you a show,” he jokes, dancing to the beat. He does this strange dance move where his head moves side to side, sending his hair flicking with each move.

 

Come the chorus, he really amps it up. He points at Jaehyun with both hands and lip syncs along with the song. He does the classic underwater move before taking a sly step along with the words.

 

“ _Love my way_ ,” he sings as he approaches closer and closer with each lyric. “ _I follow where my mind goes_.”

 

He grabs Jaehyun’s hands and he finally gives in and gets up as well. His tired limbs dance weakly along as Taeyong totally jams out to the song. Towards the end of the song, both of them are jumping along to the drum beat and laughing at each other’s horrible moves.

 

“You’re an awful dancer,” he teases Taeyong as he spins him around. Taeyong sticks his tongue out and spins Jaehyun around in retaliation.

 

The song ends and the host introduces another one by an artist Jaehyun had never heard of before. Once the title is announced, Taeyong’s eyes go wide and his mouth drops in excitement.

 

“They’re playing Bowie! Bowie, Jaehyun!” he shouts, a wide grin spreads across his face.

 

Taeyong jumps on the creaky bed and sways with the funky introduction and shouts, “ _Let’s dance_!” along with the radio.

 

It was a new sound for Jaehyun, unfamiliar, but he bopped his head along. Taeyong seemed to be enjoying himself, and Jaehyun could only watch in amusement. He could feel himself smiling so hard that it was hurting his cheeks.

 

“ _If you say run_ ,” he sings along, “ _I’ll run with you_.”

 

He gets as close to Jaehyun as he can without getting off the bed. He cups the younger’s face with both hands and mouths the unfamiliar words to Jaehyun. He falls back onto his back, making the bed groan, when the artist screams something about trembling like a flower. Taeyong giggles, enjoying every moment of the song.

 

The song ends and Taeyong is still standing on the bed in a dramatic final pose. Jaehyun chuckles at their silliness and goes into the bathroom to freshen up. In the reflection, he can see Taeyong dancing some more. His smile stays on his face even as he brushes his teeth.

 

When he’s back, Taeyong is writing something on the bedpost with a black sharpie. It reads; never forget summer ‘88 and humming along to a basic pop song.

 

The redhead is still in what he fell asleep in. It doesn’t make Jaehyun blush anymore. Taeyong gets up and brushes past him to get into the small bathroom. He cleans up and comes out of the bathroom in the same ripped jeans and tee.

 

“We should get going,” he says after awhile, the smile still slightly on his face. “If we stay in one place for too long, we’ll get into some sort of trouble.”

 

He slings his book-bag over his shoulder, gathering a few last things before they set out.

 

“Okay, I’ll drive,” Jaehyun agrees. “How much money do we have left?”

 

Taeyong checks the leather wallet and pouts. That can’t be a good sign. That’s never a good sign. Jaehyun starts to internally scream. What are they going to do if they have no money? How are they going to get around?

 

Taeyong must notice the other boy’s worry because he drops the pout and instead puts on a reassuring smile. He walks up to Jaehyun and cups his jaw.

 

“Don’t worry about it, okay?” he says reassuringly. “I’ll handle it.”

 

Jaehyun lets out a breath and moves away from Taeyong’s hand. He double checks the room to make sure they didn’t leave anything.

 

“My driving limit is four hours. I can’t drive forever,” he states. He hates driving for long periods.

 

“But you’re so good at driving,” Taeyong complains as they step out of the room.

 

It’s bright and sunny, and Taeyong whines at the sun being to bright. He puts on another pair of colorful sunglasses. They’re checkered this time. How many does he have?

 

“My ass starts to hurt when I sit in the driver’s seat for too long, though,” Jaehyun complains, pouting as he opens the creaky door to the truck’s driver’s seat.

 

The truck is hot when they enter. Jaehyun curses the fact that his dad never fixed the air conditioner in the car. They’ll have to settle with lowering the windows to get some type of chill.

 

“What ass?” Taeyong jokes, his clunky boots propped on the dashboard once again.

 

Jaehyun swipes at his feet, and he has a shit-eating grin on as the younger glares at him. He laughs loudly when Jaehyun flips him off, a smile still on his face as he puts up the rude gesture.

 

The streets they drive on are mostly barren. It’s a quiet part of Oregon where nobody lives. They’re going to enter Nevada soon, and Jaehyun is excited. The only time he’s ever left the state is when his family went on a trip to Wyoming to ski. Jaehyun was ten and he broke his arm. He hopes his experience in Nevada will be more exciting.

 

They had to make a detour because of their new destination towards Texas. Taeyong had requested it last night, and Jaehyun had just listened. Now, they’re driving down an empty road, surrounded by dirt and grass with the windows down. The wind makes a loud noise as Jaehyun drives fast.

 

“So, why Texas?” Jaehyun asks to start a conversation. The silence was starting to get to him.

 

Taeyong puts down the magazine he stole from the motel, sighing in defeat as the wind never let him read it in the first place. He shoves it in his backpack and rolls the window up just a bit so it wouldn’t throw his hair all around.

 

“I need to meet someone,” he says simply.

 

“Someone?” Jaehyun adds so the other can elaborate.

 

Taeyong places his feet on the dashboard again, getting himself comfortable. He sighs and throws his head back. He sounds like he doesn’t want to answer the question. This person must be very important if they can get in the middle of their escape to New York.

 

“My dad,” he answers finally. “My actual dad. I think I know where he is.”

 

Jaehyun nods slowly. “Were you guys close?” he asks further. Taeyong shrugs. “We don’t have to talk about it,” he adds.

 

“No, you’re fine,” Taeyong reassures. “He left when I was about eight. He was my hero, really. Best person in the world, if you ask me.”

 

“What happened?”

 

Taeyong taps his foot on the glass a little bit. He’s contemplating on what to say, Jaehyun can tell.

 

“He got tired of small town Oregon and my mom’s crazy ass. One day he just said fuck it and left,” Taeyong states. “Kind of like what we’re doing.” He laughs bitterly.

 

Jaehyun takes his eyes off the road for a quick second to catch the dejected look on Taeyong’s pretty face.

 

“We’re just visiting, right?” Jaehyun asks just to make sure.

 

“Yeah,” Taeyong answers quickly. “I don’t know if I wanna punch him in the face or hug him when we get there.”

 

Jaehyun chuckles at the bitter humor. Taeyong chuckles as well. They fall into another comfortable silence. Taeyong starts rummaging through the glove compartment suddenly. He starts to pull out tapes, reading the label on them all out loud.

 

“Your shithead dad actually has good music taste,” he comments, putting one tape in the stereo. The Cure starts to play and Taeyong sings along softly.

 

They drive down the endless open road. In this light, Taeyong looks lovely, absolutely lovely with a newly lit cigarette in between his thin fingers. He likes him so, so much it hurts to watch someone so beautiful. He forgot how much it hurt.

 

This open road was timeless and Taeyong was so lovely.

 

**CHEMULT, OREGON**

 

“I’m hungry,” Taeyong complains.

 

He chews on his checkered sunglasses as he tries to busy his mouth. Jaehyun really doesn’t know what to say because he’s not the one with the money. Taeyong brought all the money, and it was only some stolen money.

 

The redhead brings out the wallet and hesitates before taking out all of the money. It didn’t seem like a lot. He hears Taeyong curse. He starts counting out loud, and by the end, they find out they only have forty dollars left. They never had a lot to begin with. This was bound to happen.

 

“What are we going to do?” he asks, trying to keep cool.

 

“For now, let’s just go to the next breakfast place,” Taeyong answers quickly. “The next one is two miles away, according to this map.” He points to their next destination on his map of Oregon.

 

Jaehyun listens and they drive two miles until they reach the popular breakfast joint. Taeyong gets out of the car first. He strolls into the place before Jaehyun even gets out. He’s a bit confused considering they only have forty dollars left. Isn’t Taeyong worried?

 

Jaehyun follows and sits across the older.

 

“What are we doing?” he whispers. He’s asked that question too many times already. Taeyong glares at him, probably to shut him up.

 

His sunglasses are perched on his head and he scans the place quickly. Jaehyun keeps his mouth shut and his curiosity at bay. This was all suspicious. Taeyong wouldn’t just stupidly waste their whole forty bucks on breakfast, would he? He’s not that stupid, Jaehyun knows that.

 

Taeyong gets up suddenly. He orders their food. Jaehyun lets the fact that the other didn’t even ask what he wanted slide. He watches him as he orders near the counter. He leans on his elbows, his bum sticking out slightly as he leans against the counter like he usually does. If Jaehyun didn’t know any better, he would say Taeyong’s flirting with the guy taking his order.

 

He finishes and rejoins Jaehyun. He looks like he’s up to no good. Jaehyun doesn’t know if that’s a good thing.

 

“I ordered a bunch of shit,” he states. “Eat up, baby.” The grin on his face is a mischievous one and Jaehyun knows exactly what that means.

 

They eat a lot. They eat so much that Jaehyun thinks he can skip out on lunch and dinner. They’ve finished and eventually they’re going to have to pay for all of it.

 

“Don’t freak out,” Taeyong whispers. “Just follow me and don’t say anything.”

 

Jaehyun promptly starts freaking out.

 

The older of the two gets up swiftly and walks out of the breakfast diner. Jaehyun follows quickly, not letting a gap grow between them. They weren’t going to pay for the food.

 

The two of them jump into the truck quickly and Jaehyun gets out of there as quickly as he could.

 

“We just did that,” he laughs out. “Are we criminals now?” he jokes.

 

Taeyong starts cracking up at Jaehyun’s child-like excitement over walking out on a diner. It’s exciting.

 

The excitement dies down eventually and they listen to Jaehyun’s dad’s playlist. They just drive.

 

**PLATORA, NEVADA**

 

Taeyong pulls up to another motel. It’s raining hard and the loud rain drops against the glass nearly drowns out the Cure. They’re both tired from another long day of nothing. Who knew road trips were so boring? Taeyong kills the engine, the music from the stereo still playing thankfully.

 

Jaehyun looks outside the window, but he can’t see much because of the rain. He looks up at the neon hurts his eyes.The pink buzzing neon sign above them informs them that one night is fifty bucks. The only problem is they have forty. Money starts to become a problem real quick.

 

“We could always just rest here,” Taeyong points out. “No need to get a room.”

 

“Some old person is gonna come yelling at us if we stay here,” says Jaehyun.

 

Taeyong shrugs. “Then we’ll leave early in the morning.”

 

Jaehyun eventually agrees. He listens to the rain and the noise it makes as it falls onto the truck. The Cure’s _Pictures of You_ is playing softly. He’s always loved this song. It was his dad’s favorite song, too.

 

“So,” Taeyong starts awkwardly, “how’s it going so far?”

 

“Why did you runaway with me?” Jaehyun asks suddenly, turning quickly to face Taeyong.

 

The boy looks taken off guard. It was a question he wasn’t ready for. He composes himself and tries to answer honestly. Jaehyun can feel it coming, the disappointment.

 

“Everybody thinks they know me,” Taeyong starts off, “but they don't. They’re all in love with the idea of me.”

 

Jaehyun waits for him to explain further.

 

“I guess you were the only one who knew enough of me.”

 

That by itself shocks Jaehyun. It shocks him because he essentially knows nothing about Taeyong.

 

“But I barely know you,” he points out.

 

Taeyong turns to him. Their faces seem so close. Jaehyun resists the urge to stare at the older’s lips.

 

“Maybe that’s why.”

 

The neon lights provide light for them. They cast a shadow on Taeyong’s face and right now, right here, he looks beautiful. Jaehyun has always admired Taeyong, but he never had the chance to admire his beauty. It was something secret.

 

Taeyong’s eyes flicker down for a second before they’re back on his own eyes. Jaehyun can feel his heart thumping loud against his chest. The emotions that swim in Taeyong’s eyes are wild. He’s thinking so hard that Jaehyun can hear it all.

 

Taeyong thinks too hard sometimes. Jaehyun finds this out through the two days. Taeyong is much more than he thought. He was much more complex.

 

At this moment of beauty, Jaehyun realizes he’d like to disappear with Taeyong and follow him wherever he goes.

 

That was the answer to his question. The reason why Jaehyun went with him was because he was ready to go to wherever Taeyong was.

 

With this newfound discovery, Taeyong kisses him.

 

Taeyong kisses him and his heart feels light in his chest. Kissing Taeyong is just as soft and edgy as he looks. It’s fast and slow at all the same time.

 

Jaehyun kisses him like his days are numbered, like he’s never going to do this ever again. It feels good to have Taeyong’s lips on his. They’re soft and wet, and nothing like Jaehyun had ever imagined.

 

Taeyong leans over the console, it must be uncomfortable, and he grips hard at Jaehyun’s neck. He grips hard almost like he’s trying to ground the younger. They’re tongues meet at the same time and Jaehyun never wants this to end.

 

Taeyong is the one to pull away first. When he does, Jaehyun is nearly panting. His lips are red and puffy, just like his hair. His eyes are wide and looking right at him. He looks wrecked and Jaehyun wants to see him even more wrecked. He wants to ruin him and Taeyong wants to ruin him. They want to ruin each other.

 

Right when Jaehyun thinks it’s over, Taeyong climbs over the console and places himself on top of Jaehyun’s lap. With either leg encasing Jaehyun down, he kisses the lights out of Jaehyun.

 

It’s just as passionate as Taeyong.

 

He pulls back to place wet kisses down Jaehyun’s neck, and his breath hitches when Taeyong decides to suck on the skin right below his ear.

 

He gets bold and places his hand on Taeyong’s lithe hips. They’re small and a little bony, but Jaehyun grips them to ground himself. He squeezes them when Taeyong bites a little too hard on his neck. Jaehyun rounds his hands around to cup his ass, and he pulls the older as close as he possibly could.

 

With their crotches aligned, Taeyong gasps at the contact. He grinds down and whines when he feels Jaehyun’s half hard cock. Jaehyun goes back to making out with Taeyong, his tongue already meeting Taeyong’s.

 

He feels hot, so unbearably hot, but he ignores the heat, instead focusing on the heat growing in his lower abdomen.

 

Taeyong must feel the heat as well because he takes off the plain white tee he’s been wearing, his pale torso now in display. Jaehyun takes the time to admire each dip and flaw, his hands seemingly touching everywhere. He stops and settles when his thumb rubs on Taeyong’s right nipple, coaxing a small whine.

 

Jaehyun looks up to make sure Taeyong’s doing fine, and he’s doing perfectly fine. He nods, giving the go-ahead to Jaehyun. The brunette takes the consent given and places his hot mouth on the nipple.

 

They’re still in a parking lot of a motel, but neither of them care. They care so little that Taeyong eventually has both of their dicks out and is full on giving Jaehyun a blowjob. It’s the best one he’s ever gotten. It’s the only one he’s ever gotten.

 

Taeyong seems like he’s having fun with his mouth full of cock, and Jaehyun didn’t want to rid him of that pleasure. Of course, his more logical side was screaming at him to stop because they could get caught at any second, but Taeyong’s mouth is so wet and hot, he can’t do it.

 

“Oh shit,” he breathes out when Taeyong does something fancy with his tongue. His head is thrown back, neck expose and already covered in bruises. He doesn’t know how he lasted this long. “I’m gonna come, Tae,” he warns, a tight grip in the red hair.

 

Taeyong moves his mouth faster, head bobbing up and down. Jaehyun’s been holding back for so long, trying to make this moment last as long. The elder's grip tightens around Jaehyun’s thighs and right when Jaehyun thinks he’s about to come undone, Taeyong pulls completely off.

 

Jaehyun wants to scream at him, but he doesn’t because their mouths are back on each other. He can taste himself on Taeyong’s tongue and it should be gross, but it isn’t. Far from it. It’s hot and makes him groan softly.

 

“Can you fuck me?” Taeyong pants out, moving his hair off of his forehead quickly and messingly. His hair looks wild, but it’s such a turn on.

 

Jaehyun’s throat tightens up because he’s still a virgin. He’s never hooked up with a girl, none less a boy, but he finds himself nodding.

 

Taeyong gets lube from out of his bag, and Jaehyun doesn’t have enough time to wonder why it was there in the first place because suddenly the other has three fingers up his ass.

 

Jaehyun watches in astonishment. Taeyong looks so beautiful like this. He’s bouncing on his own fingers and Jaehyun watches with curious eyes. He wants his own fingers in Taeyong’s ass, so he pulls the boy’s hands away to replace them with him own two. He might’ve applied too much lube, but it doesn’t matter when Taeyong absolutely keens, his face tucked into Jaehyun’s neck.

 

He pants harshly as Jaehyun fucks him fast with his fingers. He’s never done this before, but he’s watched gay porn before and he must be doing something right. He feels some tissue and Taeyong nearly jumps out of his lap at the contact.

 

“What’s that?” he asks frantically. “Are you okay?”

 

Taeyong laughs bit. “That’s my prostate, honey. I’m more than okay, keep going. Don’t stop yet.” He kisses Jaehyun harshly again and their lips start to hurt, but neither of them stop.

 

Jaehyun keeps going until Taeyong practically rips his fingers out. He hurriedly grabs a neon condom (it makes Jaehyun giggle a little) and rolls it onto Jaehyun’s waiting cock. It’s so, so red. He’s been holding back pretty well and he’s impressed by himself.

 

Taeyong looks right at him and they share a moment of tenderness. Jaehyun kisses him softly, the softest he could.

 

The redhead pulls back slowly, his eyes still closed. He reaches back to slide Jaehyun’s cock in his ass, and he breathes out harshly when he breaches. They moan into each other’s mouth and Taeyong is shaking above him.

 

Once he’s settled fully, Jaehyun’s already seeing stars. Taeyong taps his cheek and laughs softly. Jaehyun smiles, which causes Taeyong to laugh a little more.

 

“What?” he asks, chuckling, a soft smile on his face.

 

Taeyong kisses his right cheek slowly. “You have dimples,” he observes as his pointer finger draws circles around the dimple on Jaehyun’s right cheek.

 

He’s noticing the dimples when Jaehyun’s literally balls deep in him. Jaehyun’s hands are on his lower back, just holding him there. They don’t move for awhile, and it takes all of his self control not to thrust into Taeyong. He waits until Taeyong moves first.

 

When he does move, Jaehyun thinks he might pass out, it’s that good. He moves slowly at first, lethargic ups and downs. That is until Jaehyun experitemently thrusts up a little. Taeyong gasps loudly and tightens his grip in Jaehyun’s hair at the nape of his neck. It hurts a little, but he likes it and that freaks him out just a little.

 

Taeyong starts to move faster now, a soft squelch being heard over the sound of skin meeting skin. The windows are fogging and Jaehyun is so glad they’re the only ones in the parking lot.

 

He gets a good grip on Taeyong’s small hips and starts to thrust into the tight heat. He moans and it feels so good that he thinks he might cry, but he won’t right now. Taeyong, on the other hand, is crying. Small tears fall from his tightly shut eyes. Jaehyun panics.

 

“So good, oh god,” he moans, dismissing any worry Jaehyun previously had. “Don’t stop.” Jaehyun goes faster and harder.

 

He falls back on the wheel when Jaehyun thrusts hard, and the horn sounds loudly, scaring them both. They fall into a hushed laugh at the loud noise. Jaehyun pulls Taeyong closer to him so their chests are touching. A smile is still on his face as he nibbles on Taeyong’s earlobe while the other bounces in his lap.

 

He’s closer than ever, they both know. Jaehyun wants to push himself a little more and he tries to get Taeyong to come first, but it doesn’t work. He comes so hard that he sees stars. His head hits the seat and he winces. Taeyong rides his orgasm out, looking powerful above him as he continues to move up and down. His thighs must hurt.

 

He’s starting to get sensitive, but Taeyong looks desperate and moans watonously with each stroke down. Jaehyun helps and Taeyong is soon coming all of his shirt. That’s when he realizes he never took off his jeans or shirt. Messy.

 

Taeyong pulls off and carefully leans back. They’re both panting and Taeyong looks ruined so Jaehyun much look ruined as well.

Jaehyun picks up Taeyong’s thrown away tee and cleans him up quickly.

 

“Really?” Taeyong says, unimpressed. “That was the only white shirt I brought with me and you ruin it.”

 

Jaehyun sticks out his tongue. “Not my fault you got all messy.”

 

“I like being messy,” Taeyong whispers seductively close to Jaehyun’s ear. The younger freezes, coaxing a loud laugh from the other.

 

He gets dressed and returns to the passenger seat. He rests there, holding Jaehyun’s hand a little, his thumb rubbing his hand a bit.

 

_Taeyong, Taeyong, Taeyong, Taeyong._

 

That’s all he’s thinking about right now as he drifts slowly to sleep. It’s midnight and he follows Taeyong wherever he goes because he is so lovely.

 

Taeyong is lovely. He rolls down the window to blow out smoke. He likes to smoke cigarettes, Jaehyun learns. He looks good while he smokes, too. The faded red truck smells like cigarettes and sex now, but Jaehyun falls asleep with a smile on his face as he’s surrounded with it.

 

Taeyong falls asleep next to him and wishes Jaehyun would stop thinking he’s lovely.

 

**ROUTE 50, NEVADA**

 

“We’re extremely low on money,” Taeyong states with a lollipop in his mouth. He reads a Fitzgerald book as he makes this observation. His socked feet still hang on the dash dangerously.

 

Taeyong sits up straight and thinks hard. “We’re going to need rob someone,” he adds like there’s no other solution.

 

He said it so confidently because that really was the only other solution. Jaehyun was seventeen and had barely two dollars to his name, thievery was the answer.

 

“Okay,” he agrees easily. “How are we gonna to do that?”

 

Taeyong starts to chew on his nails. He’s nervous.

 

“Stop by this gas station,” he commands, startling Jaehyun. “Now, go.”

 

Jaehyun makes a sharp turn into the station and pulls up near the station closest to the exit. It was a small gas station in the middle of nowhere. They were going to be fine, right? All they needed was some money and they could leave scotch free.

 

“Are we actually doing this?” he asks nervously, turning off the car with a turn of the keys.

 

Taeyong is digging through his bag again and he pulls out a red and blue bandanas. He throws the blue one at Jaehyun while he ties the red one to cover half of his face. His eyes are determined as he turns to Jaehyun.

 

His eyes look nervous, but his words are confident. “I’ve got a gun,” he states.

 

Jaehyun finishes tying the bandana and takes a double take, shocked at the small handgun. They stare at each other for a while, not knowing how to move anymore. Taeyong quickly kisses Jaehyun passionately, lifting their masks just a bit. He puts them down, shoves the gun in his ugly brown jacket and hops out of the truck.

 

It’s hot outside already, but Jaehyun’s sweating even more. He slowly gets out of the truck and follows Taeyong closely. He twines their hands together to calm himself down, and Taeyong thankfully holds him there.

 

The bell dings above the door as they enter. The two boys look at each other before they split apart. Jaehyun’s hand is cold.

 

He goes down the food aisle. He picks up some snacks and microwave food, shoving them all in his backpack. There’s an old lady staring at him in the same aisle. She doesn’t say anything and continues to look at the peanut section. Jaehyun starts to breathe easily again.

 

“Give me your fucking money!” he hears Taeyong shout. His voice trembles. “I said empty the cash, you cunt!”

 

Jaehyun refrains from laughing because Taeyong sounds so silly right now. He rounds the corner to watch the scene, amused. Taeyong has his gun still in his pocket as he points it. To Jaehyun, he’s not intimidating at all. He’s intimidating enough to others because at the counter a guy empties the cash register, slightly shaking in fear. When he’s finished, Taeyong thanks him sweetly before taking the whole lollipop supply.

 

Jaehyun grabs more food and drinks until his bag can no longer zip up. Then, a large man comes out from the back. They’re so screwed.

 

“What are you doing, boys?” he asks, his voice deep and burly. “I sure hope you’re not trying to rob my station.”

 

It’s so condescending because his tone is so not aggressive.

 

Taeyong points his gun again, still shaking Jaehyun can see. He stands as tall as he can, but the older man towers them both.

 

“Call the cops and I shoot, dickbreath,” Taeyong threatens with his whole chest.

 

Jaehyun wants to laugh. Dickbreath?

 

The man does laugh. “You boys need to put back whatever you stole,” he states. “I won’t call anyone if you just listen, boy.”

 

Taeyong shifts his feet. Jaehyun stands frozen in the snack aisle. The old lady side eyes him.

 

The man takes a step towards Taeyong and that’s when it goes to shit.

 

Taeyong takes out the gun from his pocket and shoots the guy in the foot. Jaehyun jumps at the loud sound. The elder doesn’t stop, he jumps over the counter and pushes the teenage worker. He steals a bunch of cigarettes, and Jaehyun doesn’t know what he’s doing.

 

He’s properly robbing them now.  

 

Jaehyun takes this as the go ahead, and bolts out of the station. He runs so fast to the truck that when he lands in the driver’s seat, the truck moves with him. Turning the keys quickly, Jaehyun curses when the car spittles.

 

“Now is not the fucking time,” he swears. It coughs alive after a good second. He drives recklessly and pulls up to the entrance.

 

Taeyong comes running out with his arms full with crap, his backpack spilling over. He shoots the window one last time just to be a menace.

 

“Drive, fucking drive!” he shouts once he’s in.

 

“You’re fucking insane!” Jaehyun shouts once they’re back on the highway. “Did you really have to shoot him in the foot?”

 

Taeyong twists around, slightly annoyed. “He was going to attack me, what the fuck was I supposed to do?”

 

Jaehyun drives faster than the speed limit, passing cars recklessly. The truck can’t handling going this fast, he knows this.

 

“I don’t know!” he shouts back. “Run out of there or something? Not shoot the fucking guy.”

 

Curses spill over Taeyong’s mouth. He suddenly sticks his head out of the window and screams. Jaehyun starts to laugh. He covers his mouth to stop the laughs, a grin under his hand. Taeyong gets back and starts to laugh as well.

 

High on adrenaline, Jaehyun steps on the gas so they could go even faster. The rush makes him laugh and Taeyong grins widely and laughs with him.

 

He leans over the console to kiss Jaehyun hard, teeth clashing and tongues frantic. Jaehyun has to keep his eyes open to watch the road ahead. Taeyong pulls back and he cheers loudly as he pumps his fist, banging the car roof.

 

“We’re like Bonnie and Clyde now,” Taeyong jokes, a hand on Jaehyun’s thigh.

 

They were really running away now. They’re legit criminals now. They robbed someone. Taeyong has too much money in his bag and Jaehyun has enough food worth at least hundreds. They’re running criminals now.

 

The were running away together.

 

**LAS VEGAS, NEVADA**

 

Jaehyun is seventeen and he’s in love with a mystery.

 

He’s always been good at puzzles. His mom used to brag to the other ladies at work about how bright he was. He can solve any mystery given enough time.

 

Now, he’s in love with a living mystery that he wants to solve.

 

At least, he thinks he is. People like Taeyong don’t fall in love with people like Jaehyun. People who are bigger than the universe itself don’t fall in love with people so small. He is so much more than Jaehyun. He’s enigmatic.

 

Taeyong is a mysterious person for a reason. He hides things because he’s good at it and doesn’t want anyone to know anymore than what he wants them to know. He finds this out the hard way.

 

It happens when they’re in another motel. It’s eleven pm and Jaehyun just wants to fall asleep. Taeyong demanded they have two beds this time, and he didn’t protest.

 

He realizes he knows only a little bit about Taeyong. He wants to know more and he wants to unravel every secret that he holds. He knows the little things like his favorite lollipop flavor and his hobby in collecting sunglasses. He knows nothing about his family or his friends.

 

“What was your mom like?” he asks in the middle of their card game.

 

Taeyong looks like he was just slapped across the face. Jaehyun knows that he fucked up. Catastrophically.

 

So, when Taeyong’s storming out of the cheap Las Vegas motel, Jaehyun follows because that’s all he can do.

 

“Fuck off, Jaehyun!” he screams at him. They’re barely outside. He’s not even wearing any shoes, bare feet on the dirty concrete.

 

Jaehyun catches him from behind, his arms around Taeyong’s small waist. Taeyong punches at his arms and it feels strangely familiar. He’s screaming, _no, no, no_. Jaehyun just tightens his grip.

 

He’s not that much taller, but he uses his strength as an advantage. He carries the other back to the room in a short distance and throws him on the bed. His strength surprises Taeyong, but the look of shock on his face is wiped with raw fury.

 

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” he shouts, shaking in anger. He gets up again, but Jaehyun blocks his way out. “Get out of my way, dipshit!”

 

Jaehyun doesn’t move. He just grabs Taeyong by the shoulders and sits him down. The moment he lets go, Taeyong is back and running towards his bag. Jaehyun freezes when he pulls out the small handgun he brought with him.

 

He’s shaking and holding it with two hands. He still looks lovely.

 

“Put it down,” Jaehyun says carefully. “I’m sorry I asked about your mom.”

 

Taeyong drops the gun and it clatters loudly on the carpet.

 

He sobs.

 

It’s ugly sobbing. It’s sobbing with snot and awful sounds of heartbreak. Jaehyun encloses the small boy in his arms and lets him sob there. At first, he punches Jaehyun, weak shouts demanding him to get off. Jaehyun only pulls him closer. His punches die out and he’s left softly crying into the red flannel.

 

Taeyong is running away from something. He’s running away from something Jaehyun does not get to know about. He settles with this and lets the mysterious boy keep his secrets for now.

 

Jaehyun knows nothing about Taeyong, and maybe that’s okay.

 

**LAS VEGAS, NEVADA**

 

Taeyong is eighteen.

 

It’s July 1st, 1988, and Taeyong Lee is eighteen years old.

 

They’re in the same motel, and it’s early morning. Rays of sun fall on Taeyong’s delicate face making him look unreal and beautiful. Jaehyun watches him and takes in every detail. There’s a scar near his eye and he finds it endearing. Someone so perfect had to have some flaws.

 

Taeyong wakes up slowly and then all at once. He pushes himself further into Jaehyun’s embrace, his legs tangling with the other’s legs. Their hips are aligned and he grinds in playfully, just to get a stir out of Jaehyun.

 

He stops when Jaehyun makes a weak sound. “Why are you watching me sleep, weirdo,” he teases, tracing the dimple on his face again.

 

Jaehyun smiles even harder and takes something out from the stand beside them. It’s wrapped nicely with a bow and everything. It’s Taeyong’s birthday present.

 

“I got you something,” says Jaehyun softly, his morning voice deep and gravely.

 

“You shouldn’t have,” Taeyong responds as he takes the present with two hands. His eyes are wide with excitement.

 

He unwraps it quickly and gasps softly when he finds out what it is. Jaehyun sits and watches Taeyong go through the present. It’s a red polaroid camera. He guessed that red was his favorite color because of his hair. Taeyong once said on their way to Las Vegas that he wanted to capture all of the pretty sceneries.

 

“You really shouldn’t have,” adds Taeyong, he voice even softer than he looks.

 

“I wanted to,” Jaehyun states.

 

Taeyong looks up at him. “Why?”

 

“Because you deserve good things,” he answers.

 

Taeyong puts the film in and tries to figure it out. He throws Jaehyun off by taking an impromptu picture of him. He just woke up and is half naked, definitely not picture ready.

 

“Perfect,” he says with a big grin that reaches his eyes. “When’d you steal this one?”

 

“I got it with my own money.”

 

Taeyong snorts a laugh. “That’s a lie.”

 

Jaehyun pushes him a little and scoffs. “I had a good ten dollars on me, okay? It was enough for that.”

 

Taeyong leans over to give him a quick kiss on the cheek.

 

Taeyong is eighteen and he doesn’t want to be loved.

 

**SANTE FE, NEW MEXICO**

 

“What if my dad hates me?” Taeyong asks one night when they’re watching the stars.

 

Taeyong made them pull over because the moon was too wonderful to pass by. It was big in the sky and Taeyong looked up to it like it knew all his secrets. They sit in the back of the truck, air hot around them. They made a makeshift fort in the back where they lay next to each other.

 

With a comfortable distance between them, Jaehyun watches the stars and how they twinkle for him.

 

“He won’t,” Jaehyun tries.

 

That only annoys Taeyong. “You don’t know that.”

 

“Yeah, and you don’t know if he’s going to like you either,” he retorts.

 

Taeyong sighs in frustration and sits up. He’s nervous and he’s biting his nails again. Jaehyun catches one of his hands and holds it. He doesn’t hold it for love because Taeyong takes his hand back and lays back down.

 

“I just wanna be enough for at least one person, you know?”

 

He turns over away from Jaehyun and tries to fall asleep. The younger can’t fall asleep as easily because of the worry that clouds his brain.

 

Taeyong’s worried, so he’s worried too.

 

Taeyong does a lot of things when he’s nervous. For one, he bites his nails. They’re already really short, but when he nibbles on them from time to time they bleed. He also uses his prowess to get what he wants. It’s his last resort.

 

He must be really nervous because he practically pounces on Jaehyun when it gets too quiet for him. It’s rough and wet and too much. Taeyong had always been too much. He opens his mouth and their tongues slide against each other.

 

They’re nervous and they only have each other.

 

They make love under the stars, or at least that’s what Jaehyun thinks. Taeyong is just fucking with his head just a little bit more.

 

**AMARILLO, TEXAS**

 

They’re at a trailer park.

 

There’s a bunch of trailers and it smells like cow shit. Jaehyun decides he hates Texas.

 

Both of them stand awkward in front of a trailer that’s supposed to be Taeyong’s dad’s trailer. Jaehyun’s not too sure, but he’s standing next to Taeyong, waiting for the door to open. Taeyong already knocked three times already.

 

Jaehyun rocks back and forth on his heels, looking around the small community. He sighs and goes to knock before Taeyong pulls him back.

 

“Oh, for fucks sake,” he mutters impatiently before banging on the door. Taeyong bangs on it until an attractive older man, about forty, opens the door. Taeyong freezes.

 

He looks a bit like Taeyong, and it freaks him out. He’s got this short beard thing going on and it kind of looks good. He’s wearing those tanks wife beaters wear and smells like beer. Jaehyun immediately dislikes him. Almost as much as he dislikes Texas.

 

The man scratches his neck in confusion, looking between the two teenagers. He’s got a slight scowl on his face.

 

Jaehyun glances over at Taeyong to see how he was holding up. He was holding his breath. Jaehyun nudges him to remind him to breathe.

 

“What’re you kids up to?” the man grumbles, obviously tired. He pulls out a cigar and lights it unceremoniously.

 

Taeyong now looks pissed. His jaw is clenching and unclenching, and it’s kind of worrying because his dad’s on the other side of that glare.

 

“Hey, dad,” he starts off with harshly. “How’s it going?”

 

The man nearly chokes and eventually starts laughing. Taeyong looks absolutely pissed. Jaehyun thinks he might just punch the guy, but Taeyong is just clenching his fists so tight his knuckles turn white. The man continues his smoker laugh and the boys stand, waiting.

 

“You’re kidding me, right?” the mans says once his laughter dies down.

 

Taeyong shifts on his feet and stands a bit taller. Jaehyun’s never seen someone so irritated before.

 

“You remember Taeyong Lee?” states the redhead. “Yeah, I’m the eight year old little boy that you left for some bullshit adventure. How’d that turn out, by the way?”

 

The man’s expression immediately switches into a sardonic one. The scowl is back and the two glare at each other for a solid minute before a busty white woman interrupts. She wears a silk robe, her blonde hair in tight curls, and she leans against Taeyong’s dad. She looks Taeyong up and down, then Jaehyun.

 

Her red lips turn slowly into a grin and she smokes the cigar the man had lit. “Who’s this, honey?”

 

Taeyong shifts his glare at her. She waves airily at him, earning a fake smile from the irritated boy.

 

“Why don’t you boys come inside?”

 

Jaehyun looks over at Taeyong the same time he looks over at him. They share a moment before the two of them turn to the man and say, “sure.”

 

The inside of the mobile home makes the rest of Texas seem beautiful. It’s trashy and smells like old people sex. Jaehyun scrunches his nose up at the horrid smell. Taeyong looks equally as disgusted.

 

“Please, sit,” the lady says sweetly with a southern accent. They sit on the poorly cushioned couch “Beer?” she hands Jaehyun a can before he can reply and does the same for Taeyong.

 

Taeyong takes it and chugs it right away. Jaehyun just stares at the lukewarm beverage. He sets it down on the lame coffee table, already filled with cans and paper plates.

 

The man sits across from them, pulling up a plastic chair. He sits with his legs spread wide. Taeyong has a look of disgust on his face.

 

“So,” the man starts, “went searching for your old man, did ya?”

 

Taeyong starts to scowl again. If he keeps at it, he’ll stay like that forever.

 

“Guess I found him,” responds Taeyong. Disappointment and resentment fills his voice.

 

The man nods slowly. “Wanna introduce me to your friend?” he nods towards Jaehyun, and suddenly the attention is all on him.

 

“He’s my friend Jaehyun that I occasionally fuck. Sometime I let him fuck me in the ass and sometimes I fuck him in the ass,” Taeyong fires, just to see the look of surprise on his father’s face. He raises an eyebrow in challenge.

 

Jaehyun suddenly becomes conscious of the hickeys littered on his neck. The lady giggles and stares at Jaehyun even longer. He shifts closer to Taeyong.

 

“Who’s your lady friend?” Taeyong adds in question, but he doesn’t sound like he wants the answer. He just sounds like he doesn’t care at all.

 

His dad gestures for the woman to sit in his lap and she does. She’s much younger than him, at least twenty-five. He starts to rub at her thigh, lifting the robe higher, exposing her lady parts. Taeyong scowls even more at the sight, disgusted by the sight of a vagina. Jaehyun looks away uncomfortably.

 

“This is Cherry,” Taeyong’s dad answers with a smirk.

 

Jaehyun feels like he’s watching a silent fight. Someone is eventually going to break, crack. Something is going to blow this false sense of calm, and Jaehyun’s afraid to see who it is.

 

“How’s Jisoo?” he asks Taeyong.

 

Taeyong’s fist clenches and unclenches at the mention of his little sister.

 

“She’s fine. You remember Jisoo? She graduated middle school already,” he answers tightly.

 

“Always a bright one that one,” he mutters. “I knew she was going to be the one to make me proud, you know?”

 

Taeyong stiffens even more, if that was even possible. He takes a calming breath and tries to ease the conversation, to make it civil. Emphasis on tries.

 

“I graduated high school,” he informs his father.

 

His dad just shrugs. “Anybody can do that. What’re you doing here? Shouldn’t you be preparing for some bullshit college like you always dreamed about?”

 

“I’m not attending college, dad,” he takes a shaky breath. “I was hoping I could hang here in Texas for the summer.” This was news to Jaehyun. He can feel his eyes widen. This was never a part of the plan, but Taeyong has always been one of instinct.

 

Taeyong’s dad laughs his ugly laugh. “Not gonna happen. Go to college. That’s the only thing that’s gonna help you, kid, cause your good looks ain’t gonna get you far.”

 

This obviously angered Taeyong. They were both fiery characters, ready to explode. Jaehyun understands where Taeyong gets it from now. He gets it from his parents, but mostly his dad.

 

“Why’d you leave me with mom?” Taeyong asks suddenly. He looks serious all of the sudden, like he wants an equally serious answer. It’s the least he deserves.

 

His dad pushes Cherry of his lap and she goes to do whatever. He rubs at his beard, thinking, and he sighs as he looks anywhere but at Taeyong.

 

“You know why,” he explains quietly.

 

This sends Taeyong over the edge. “No, quite frankly, I don’t know why you fucking left me with her. You knew how awful she was and you abandoned me!” he shouts, his face red in anger. He grips tightly at his own bony knees, so hard that he might break them.

 

“I couldn’t take you with me,” the man explains further. “I just couldn’t you were too young, and I wasn’t stable enough to protect you.”

 

Taeyong scoffs. “Like keeping me with mom was so safe,” he hisses. “She fucked with my brain and she married an asshole after you left.”

 

Taeyong’s dad looks at his son with sad, regretful eyes. Jaehyun almost feels bad for the guy. He had to deal with Taeyong’s uncontrolled anger.

 

“I get it, you’re mad.”

 

“I’m more than mad,” Taeyong shouts, his voice booming throughout the trailer. “How could you?” his voice is cracks a little. Jaehyun places a comforting hand on his thigh, but Taeyong just shrugs it off.

 

“We were supposed to leave together,” he continues.

 

His dad starts to get angry too. “You were eight fucking years old, Taeyong. Get over it, you’re not a kid anymore,” he snaps.

 

Taeyong abruptly stands up and throws the ugly brown jacket at his dad. It hits him square in the face.

 

“Fuck you!” he shouts as he storms out of there. Jaehyun gets up quickly and gets out of that dump as quickly as he could.

 

Taeyong is stomping away and Jaehyun has to jog to catch up with him.

 

“Taeyong,” he calls out, “slow down.” Nobody can slow Taeyong down.

 

He’s not crying, but he looks like he might just start. Jaehyun takes a light grip at his wrist to stop him from walking so fast.

 

The elder stops and nearly falls at how quickly Jaehyun pulls him back. He glares hard, waiting for Jaehyun to say something.

 

“Settle down, okay?” Jaehyun says with a comforting voice, but Taeyong just scoffs and continues walking towards the truck. “I know, you’re dad’s a shithead. You’re disappointed, but remember why we’re on this trip, Taeyong.”

 

Taeyong snaps around. He walks up to Jaehyun, doc martens crunching the rocks beneath him and stabs his finger into the younger’s chest. His face is almost as red as his hair.

 

“ _I_ went on this trip to find this asshole,” he hisses. “ _You_ went on this trip because you’re obsessed with me.”

 

It’s like a slap in the face. It stings and lingers a little before it fades away. Coming to replace it is Jaehyun’s own anger. The words hit like a slap in the face, so he does the same to Taeyong.

 

He slaps him in the face so hard that he stumbles a bit, nearly falling onto the ground.

 

Jaehyun regrets the sting that comes spreading throughout his own hand. He holds it with his other hand that’s shaking. He should have never done that. The guilt is already starting to spread.

 

Taeyong snaps his eyes back up at Jaehyun before turning around quickly towards the truck. He nearly makes it to the driver’s seat before Jaehyun pulls him out. He’s too angry to drive them, he’ll just make them end up dead on the side of the road.

 

Taeyong falls to the ground this time, grunting when his bottom makes contact with the rocks. Jaehyun picks him up and shoves him into the passenger seat. He’s driving out of there before Taeyong gets to process what happened.

 

He sits there, hair askew and left cheek burning red. Jaehyun drives above the speed limit and drives faster than that. It’s silent. Even the radio, which usually is sounded with static constantly, is silent.

 

Everything is silent.  

 

**MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, TEXAS**

 

They don’t talk to each other at all.

 

They’re both too embarrassed and mad at each other to say anything at all.

 

So, when the truck coughs and makes all kinds of ugly noises before completely shutting down, neither of them know what to do.

 

Of course, Taeyong’s first instinct is to blame Jaehyun. “You didn’t refill the tank like I told you, and now look what happened. We’re stuck in the middle of buttfuck Texas now. Thanks asshole.”

 

Jaehyun scoffs. Taeyong’s so predictable it’s not even humorous. It’s sad.

 

“Why didn’t you do it?” he retorts, slamming his hands on the wheel. “Would’ve helped the both of us.”

 

“You were too busy kidnapping me,” Taeyong snaps back.

 

Jaehyun’s jaw drops and he glares at the other. “Kidnap? Are you being for real right now?”

 

Taeyong crosses his arms and refuses to say anything else. Jaehyun rolls his eyes and gets out of the truck. He decides abandoning the shitty truck is all he can do right now. So, he puts on his backpack and starts walking. He doesn’t wait for the older boy to follow.

 

He hears boots behind, but they move slow, not bothering in catching up with him. Taeyong is following, a good length between them. Jaehyun turns around briefly to see the other with blue tinted sunglasses perched on his nose, a blue lollipop in hand. He flips Jaehyun off, receiving a scoff in return.

 

The sun is unforgiving on his pale skin. He’s pretty sure he’s got sunburn on his face right now. He puts out his thumb, hoping for someone to pull over and give them a ride, anything really.

 

“That’s not gonna work, dickbreath,” Taeyong says loudly so the younger can hear him.

 

Jaehyun stops and turns around, putting his hands up in defeat. “Please, what is the better option?”

 

Taeyong takes the lollipop out of his mouth. He’s closer to Jaehyun now, but he doesn’t want Taeyong any closer. He wants him to stop right there and keep that distance. Thankfully, Taeyong doesn’t step any closer. He just cocks his hip out and stands there looking like a main character straight from a rom-com. He’s so cliche.

 

“You could have just looked at the gas tank and fill the damn truck up,” he says cooly. It irritates the fuck out of Jaehyun. He groans and pretends like he’s choking Taeyong by squeezing the thin air. “Please, do choke me. I have a breath play kink,” he teases.

 

“Do you ever shut the fuck up?” Jaehyun spits. “God, you’re like some pretentious teenage girl with emotional baggage.”

 

Taeyong throws down his empty lollipop stick and starts yelling back. “You know, I actually thought you were a decent human being, but you’re nothing but a little bitch.”

 

“Me? I’m the bitch?” he scoffs. “I’m not the one who got fucked by the closet case football star. Oh, and let’s not forget that he used to hit your bratty ass. I’m not the bitch who stayed with an abusive asshole.”

 

Jaehyun guesses the slap across the face he gets was coming for him. He really deserved it too, so it wasn’t anything awful. He definitely deserved that.

 

“You have the boniest hands, that shit fucking hurt,” he says, holding his cheek.

 

Taeyong stares, unimpressed, before walking past him and puts out his thumb when a minivan drives by. It passes them and he waits until another car drives towards them. He pulls out another lollipop, his tongue still blue from the blueberry, and he sucks on it as he waits.

 

A bright blue car pulls up next to him after five cars ignore him. Taeyong raises an eyebrow at Jaehyun and smirks.

 

“Where’re ya heading, pretty boy?” a feminine voice drawls from the car. She lowers her yellow tinted sunglasses to get a good look at the boy.

 

Taeyong leans against the door and explains what happened to their car. “We just need a ride to some motel or something towards New York,” he explains smoothly.

 

Jaehyun kicks some rocks with his red Converses, dirting them up even more. He doesn’t tune in on their conversation, but he looks over at who had the courtesy to pull over for them.

 

It’s some pretty young lady with vibrant red hair, not like the red Taeyong has, but strawberry, natural red. She’s pale and freckles dust her nose cutely. The lady unlocks the doors for them and welcomes them in. Jaehyun sits in the back while Taeyong sits in the front with her.

 

“I’m Glenda,” she says sweetly. “How about you in the back, sweetie?”

 

Jaehyun moves his gaze from out the window towards the rearview mirror where Glenda waits for an answer.

 

“Jaehyun,” he provides.

 

“Jaehyun?” she giggles. “You boys ain’t from around here, are ya?” the southern twang to her speech is endearing.

 

Taeyong shrugs from where he sits. “Korean-American, they like to call us,” he says. “We’re from Oregon.”

 

“How nice,” she says mindlessly, humming along to the radio. The music Glenda plays is awful pop.

 

They sit through it because she’s nice and has a pleasant voice as she sings along. Besides her singing and the radio, the car is quiet. It nearly hurts.

 

Taeyong and Jaehyun make eye contact through the reflection on the side mirrors. Taeyong looks away first and Jaehyun doesn’t bother. They’re still mad at each other, rightfully so. Jaehyun isn’t really mad at Taeyong. He can admit that he was the bigger asshole, but never out loud.

 

“So, you two brothers or something?” asks Glenda.

 

Taeyong laughs loudly. “Oh god, no.” Glenda raises her perfect eyebrows and looks at Taeyong so he could evaluate. “We’re good friends.”

 

“We’re friends,” Jaehyun confirms. Taeyong looks back at him through the mirror again and they glare at each other subtly.

 

Apparently, they weren’t as subtle because Glenda looks between them and senses the sexual tension that seems to plague them. She giggles a sweet sound and turns up the music, the wind blowing magically through her hair. She’s like some disney princess.

 

He chuckles die down and she says, “Honey, I’m not dumb or a bigot. Just say y’all are friends who give each other handies every now and then.”

 

Jaehyun chokes on nothing, coughing up a storm. Glenda just giggles and smokes her pink cigarette.

 

The keep driving with this new beautiful stranger.

 

**MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, TEXAS**

 

They don’t talk for a whole hour. They’re mad at each other, but here they are. They haven’t abandoned each other, but it sure feels like it.

 

Jaehyun regrets ever hitting Taeyong or being aggressive towards him. It’s really hard to deal with the fact that he’s just like all the people that had used Taeyong. He absolutely hates it.

 

Taeyong, of course, doesn’t apologize first because he has too much pride. He shouldn’t apologize because he did nothing wrong. All he did was defend himself after Jaehyun said ugly, ugly words. Such ugly words came out of such a beautiful mouth.

 

He regrets everything.

 

Glenda drops them off at some motel and she stays in the room next to them. They still don’t know where they are in Texas, but it’s Texas and that’s all Jaehyun needs to know to want to get the fuck out.

 

The motel is much like every motel they’ve stayed at. Old, gross, and probably moldy.

 

Taeyong sits on the queen bed, hair dripping wet. He’s got a towel over his shoulders and he’s reading another magazine. Jaehyun sits across on the other bed, biting at his lips, nervous.

 

One of them has to apologize.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“I know.”

 

 **RIGHT OUTSIDE** **NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE**

Taeyong drives just like he acts; brash and reckless. They stole a small blue car that fit Taeyong’s red, blue aesthetic apparently. He just _had_ to steal it. The owner must not be so happy when they woke up to their precious car gone. It’s a nice car.

 

It’s a nice car, but he has no idea how to drive it. He jerks and turns too sharply. Taeyong knows how to drive big cars, not little ones. He’s an awful driver.

 

Jaehyun can’t take anymore of it, so he makes him pull over on the side of the road. It’s mostly empty. Just dirt, the city distant. They’re just about entering it.

 

“You know what I love about stars?” Taeyong whispers into the night as they lay on top of their nicely stolen car. Jaehyun hums. “They’re always there. They never leave you.”

 

“That’s actually wrong,” Jaehyun adds. “Stars eventually explode, but it takes, like forever.”

 

Taeyong gasps in offense, shoving Jaehyun a bit so he could start tipping off the car. “How dare you ruin my moment.”

 

“I had to inform you,” he protests lightly, a smile plastered onto his face. Taeyong touches the dimples again and laughs with him. “Remember the first time we star gazed?” he asks.  

 

Taeyong nods. “You got beat up by my shithole ex and I needed to make it up to you somehow.”

 

“By showing me stars that I see every night?”

 

Taeyong hums. “That’s the problem,” he starts. “You see them every night, but you don’t take the time to consider how much greater these stars are. They’re greater than all of us.”

 

“I never thought about it that way,” Jaehyun whispers.

 

Taeyong grins triumphantly. “Take a look at the stars, Jaehyunnie. They’re so much bigger than you and I. They’re prettier, older even. Hell, these stars will most likely be here longer than we are.”

 

Jaehyun looks over at the redhead and gazes lovingly at him. If Jaehyun can fall in love with anybody, it would be Taeyong. It would only be Taeyong. His mind works in ways Jaehun could never understand. He’s spontaneous and shy, but he’s so loud that sometimes Jaehyun can’t think over him.

 

He’s helplessly in love with someone who will never love him back.

 

“You’re prettier than all of the stars, Taeyong,” says Jaehyun softly.

 

Taeyong snorts an unattractive laugh, the dork. “That was unbelievably cheesy of you. How long have you been working on that one?” he teases.

 

Jaehyun sighs discouragingly. Taeyong repeats _no, no, no_ as he tries to get the dimple to resurface. He has this beautiful smile on his face. Jaehyun is in love, god dammit.

 

Jaehyun is seventeen and in love.

 

**NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE**

 

Two gay boys enter a bar. It should be a start to a bad joke, but really it was just Taeyong’s dumb idea. He thought they needed time to settle down and relax a bit. In a bar. In Tennessee.

 

“It’s just some bar,” Taeyong tries. They haven’t even step foot into the building, but Jaehyun already knows they’re screwed. There’s a bunch of motorcycles and pickup trucks. “We’ll be fine.”

 

“We’re not even twenty-one yet,” Jaehyun points out, stepping over the curb. “They won’t serve us.”

 

Taeyong opens the door for him and raises an eyebrow. “You underestimate me, Jaehyun.”

 

One step into the bar, it smells awful, almost metallic and musty. Jaehyun freezes when he scopes out the people that vacate the bar. Big men with tattoos everywhere glare at them momentarily. The two teenagers stick out like a sore thumb.

 

Taeyong has a grin on his face, he’s acting like he’s not scared. He should be scared because most of the glares are pointed at him. He makes himself an easy target for harassment.

 

Absolutely idiotic.

 

The men’s gazes follow them as they walk up to the bar. Jaehyun was genuinely concerned, but if Taeyong felt alright about this, so did he. He trusts him.

 

“Can we just get a little something on the rocks?” Taeyong orders smoothly. The bartender is an burly man with a beard, and he looks at them up and down before nodding once. He goes to fix them a drink, and Jaehyun stares at the elder in shock.

 

“What’d you even order?”

 

Taeyong shrugs. “I don’t even know,” he replies. “I hear it a lot in the movies, though. I must’ve done something right, he’s getting us something.”

 

The man comes back with glasses filled with something that smells strongly like gasoline. Taeyong pays the man and downs the glass. He hisses tightly and slams the glass upside down.

 

Jaehyun follows soon after, except his hisses and scrunches his nose in distaste. It smelled like gasoline, looked like gasoline, and tasted like gasoline. He can feel his throat burning and it still stings after awhile.

 

“How is it?” Taeyong asks easily.

 

“Tastes like shit.”

 

Taeyong laughs lightly. “Best part.”

 

A man a couple seats down from them is obviously eyeing Taeyong. It makes Jaehyun a bit uneasy. Everybody else has ignored their presence, but this man seems personally offended by them. His anger seems more directed towards Taeyong.

 

The elder doesn’t pay any mind to him, but Jaehyun can see him. Everytime he shifts in his seat, Jaehyun gets a bit more on the edge.

 

“We have enough, right?” Taeyong asks, patting the wallet in Jaehyun’s back pocket. The man behind him stiffens as he watches the two stand awfully close to each other.

 

Jaehyun tries to be bothered. Taeyong isn’t bothered, so he shouldn’t be either.

 

“Couple hundreds, yeah,” he answers quietly for only Taeyong to hear. He looks over his shoulder to glance at the man.

 

The man is probably in his late forties and probably very bothered by the thought of two boys being more than friends. Of course he’s got a cowboy hat on. They’re in Tennessee.

 

“Don’t look now, but this guy is staring us down,” Jaehyun whispers into Taeyong’s ear. The man shifts his direction towards his beer and leaves them alone.

 

Taeyong chuckles, pushing Jaehyun away from him lightly. The grin on his face is playful. He’s trying to ignore the man, too.

 

“Stop being gay then,” he jokes.

 

“You know I can’t do that around you,” Jaehyun pouts as he teases back.

 

Taeyong nearly pushes him off the spinny stool jokingly. He twirls around in the stool and claims that he’s hungry. They order a bucket of fries with some cash. Taeyong mostly scarfs it down like a starved man. Jaehyun lets him.

 

“How far away are we?” Taeyong asks with a mouthful of fries.

 

Jaehyun pulls out their map from his backpack and points to Nashville. “Still gotta long way to go.”

 

“Why can’t we just transport ourselves there?” he whines. “Like in Star Trek. And Star Wars.”  

 

Jaehyun scoffs. “You know Star Wars?”

 

Taeyong looks very offended and dramatically places his hand on his chest. “Who do you think I am? Of course I know what Star Wars it, you dweeb.” The younger laughs slightly and shakes his head in disbelief. “I’d still like to transport myself somewhere.”

 

“Trust me, I’d love to do that, but instead we have a little blue car.”

 

Taeyong sticks his bottom lip out in a pout and tucks away the map in his pocket. The bartender comes back with a mug of beer for the both of them, and Taeyong looks at him, confused.

 

“I didn’t order this?” he states confused, almost in question.

 

The bartender nods his head towards the man that was glaring at them a moment ago. “That nice gentleman did,” he explains, walking away to tend to another customer.

 

They look at each other questionably, but eventually Taeyong shrugs and starts sipping on the bubbly beer. Jaehyun looks over at the man and eyes him carefully. He was here alone. The gesture would be nice if he hadn’t been giving them the stink eye. Taeyong seems clueless.

 

“I think we should get going,” Jaehyun says quietly.

 

Taeyong’s brows furrowed in confusion. “We just got here,” he protests.

 

“I’ve got a bad feeling, come on,” he tries to get across, nervously looking around the bar. “Let’s go.”

 

Taeyong chugs the rest of his drink, letting out a sigh once he’s done. He gives Jaehyun a blank look and rolls his eyes. Jaehyun takes this as a reluctant agreeance.

 

“How about one game of pool and then we can go?” Taeyong tries, pleading with his soft eyes.

 

Jaehyun smiles like he’s lost this debate and looks around the bar one last time before shrugging. The pool tables weren’t that full and a quick game wouldn’t hurt anyone. When he finally agrees, Taeyong grins widely and kisses the boy on the cheek. In public.

 

He has a mini heartache because he felt like his heart rate had just skyrocketed. It was unknown to him whether it was from Taeyong’s touch or the fear of others’ stares. He tries to convince himself it was Taeyong’s touch.

 

The older goes over to the tables and picks up one of the pool cues. Jaehyun follows closely and tries to look like he knows what he’s doing for the first couple minutes of the game.

 

He doesn’t know what he’s doing.

 

Taeyong on the other hand plays like he’s some sort of professional. He does this cool behind the back move just to show off.

 

“You’re showing off,” Jaehyun comments.

 

Taeyong smiles slyly. “Maybe.”

 

“It’s not fair,” he continues with a grin. “I suck at this.”

 

“Maybe I need a new playing partner because you really do suck at this,” says Taeyong. As he passes Jaehyun, he pinches his cheek and continues to mess with him.

 

Over at the pool table next to them, the man from earlier is staring at them again. He approaches them this time and Jaehyun holds his breath, hoping nothing goes wrong.

 

“You boys up for a game?” his rough voice asks.

 

Jaehyun looks between them both and Taeyong beats him to answering.

 

“Sure,” he responds quickly, short and quip. “My friend here is no good, by the way,” he continues to joke. The man laughs shortly and lowly.

 

He’s a lot bigger than the both of them. The tattoos scattered all on his arms intimidate Jaehyun. He’s a burly man with more fat on his body than muscle, but he’s tall and towers over Taeyong when he rounds. To move past the teenager, he places a large hand on Taeyong’s waist.

 

The boy says nothing and does not look phased at all.

 

Jaehyun is slightly panicking.

 

The man had just glared at them for a good amount of time, but now he’s laughing at Taeyong’s jokes and teaching him how to hit the ball correctly.

 

“Your alignment is all wrong, babe,” the man says. Jaehyun glare. “Let me help you.”

 

Taeyong easily complies to his every movement. From the other side of the table, Jaehyun grips the cue tightly and chews on the inside of his cheek so hard that it begins to bleed. The redhead seems to enjoy the attention, leaning into every touch from the man.

 

When he pockets the striped ball, he cheers and the man hugs him from behind. Jaehyun knew that Taeyong didn’t need help with his alignment because he was fully capable of playing 8-ball.

 

On Jaehyun’s turn, he messes up and the man just mocks him. Taeyong laughs along with him and it shouldn’t offend the younger, but it does. Had Taeyong shifted his attention over so quickly?

 

Did he already lose the boy’s interest?

 

“Where are you boys from?” the man asks, a cigarette dangling in the corner of his mouth. Taeyong goes to pick it out of his mouth and takes a drag for himself. “Can’t be around here.”

 

They’re way too close for Jaehyun’s comfort.

 

“Small town Oregon,” Taeyong answers nicely, handing back the cigarette.

 

Jaehyun can sense the tension in the air and the flirtation radiating out from his friend (boyfriend?). The way Taeyong looks up at the man through his lashes was the same way he had looked at Jaehyun. The subtle way he licks his lips and bends over the table are all telling.

 

“I’m gonna go get a drink,” he quips when he’s had enough. Taeyong just hums in acknowledgment, too busy watching the man.

 

He stays at the counter for the next thirty minutes. He doesn’t bother returning because he would just get irritated all over again and start something he can’t finish. In the course of those thirty minutes, Jaehyun managed to get himself tipsy. The beer was light, but it was enough to get him feeling funny.

 

He turns around towards the tables and notices Taeyong surrounded by a bunch of older men. Jaehyun tries to ignore his senses again and tries to remind himself that everybody wants Taeyong’s attention. That’s just who he is.

 

They’re all still playing pool, but there must be money involved or some sort of prize because they all play eagerly. Jaehyun watches for a small amount of time before approaching his partner.

 

“Let’s get going,” he states firmly, grabbing onto Taeyong’s small wrist.

 

The boy’s smile slowly turns into a scowl and he removes himself from Jaehyun’s grip. He looks at Jaehyun in disagreeance, but when the younger stares back at him pointedly, he agrees reluctantly.

 

Jaehyun heads towards the bar counter to pay the bartender for his drinks. Taeyong sits on one of the stools and starts spinning, waiting impatiently.

 

“Can I at least pee first?” he asks. “I’m gonna go pee.”

 

He hops off the stool and heads towards the restroom. Jaehyun preoccupies himself by playing with the jar filled with mini umbrellas. He yawns a little, tired and wanting to leave as soon as possible. 

 

His attention turns back to the men. An obvious winner has been announced and the man from earlier is whispering to the winner. Jaehyun sits up a little straighter and pays more attention. The man pats the winner on the back and points towards the bathrooms, where Taeyong had just gone.

 

In frenzied panic, Jaehyun freezes and watches as the winner, a large man with a beard and a leather jacket, walks into the bathroom.

 

He gets this sick feeling at the bottom of his stomach and manages to get himself off of the stool.  

 

He let too much time pass, something bad has already happened.

 

He nearly runs towards the bathroom when his brain finally starts communicating with his body parts. Storming into the bathroom, he calls out Taeyong’s name.

 

Most of the stalls were empty and it was eerily silent. Jaehyun starts to bang on every stall, sending the doors flying. He continues to do that before he reaches the last one. Holding his breath, he uses the side of his shoulder and all his strength to open it.

 

There’s nobody inside.

 

Confusion swirls through his brain. He tries to rack anything in his brain to figure out where Taeyong could possibly be. He couldn’t have gone far because he told Jaehyun that he was just going to go pee. That man followed right after him. Could that mean anything?

 

Jaehyun frantically exits the bathroom and looks around the poorly lit area.

 

“Taeyong, where the fuck are you?” he whispers to himself.

 

There’s an exit door not too far away and Jaehyun opens it quickly. He’s trying to move as quickly as he can because anything can happen in a matter of seconds.

 

Out in the alley, Jaehyun sees it. He sees it and he nearly throws up.

 

“He tried to fucking touch me. I didn’t know what to do and he pulled out a knife and then he was trying to grab me and-” Taeyong rapidly explains, cut off by Jaehyun’s tight embrace. “I didn’t mean to.” His cries are silent.

 

At the bottom of their feet, blood pools the dirty alleyway. A body lays limp, bleeding out. He’s horribly stabbed.

 

“It’s okay,” Jaehyun whispers, “you’re okay.”

 

Taeyong shakes under his hold. “I just killed him.”

 

“He tried to touch you. You did okay,” he reassures. He’s not sure if that’s the right thing to say in this situation, but he’s never been in this situation. So, what would he know?

 

They pull away from their hug and wordlessly stare at the bloody body. His blood was splattered all over Taeyong’s blue shirt now. It colored the pretty blues with ugly, dark reds. His beautiful face was painted with blood. His lips were stained with it and the apples of his cheeks were freckled with the blood. Some had even managed to get on his brows.

 

“What are we gonna do?” Taeyong asks hoarsely, his voice weak.

 

Jaehyun looks over at the dumpster and back at the body. “Dump him, I guess.”

 

They help each other pick up the body to dump it in the large dumpster. The body hits the bottom of the dumpster with a big bang. Taeyong wipes his hands off on his shirt and that only stains it more. His boots dip in the blood as he takes a big step back.

 

“What about that?” he asks as he lifts his foot off of the ground. “God, it got everywhere. Bled out like a pig.”

 

“We could always just leave it there.”

 

Taeyong drags his hand over his face and sighs. “We need a disguise. Nobody can know what we look like anymore,” he concludes. He’s already walking out of the alley.

 

It was late, nobody was out, but Jaehyun worried somebody would see their bloody clothing. He got some blood onto his white shirt and some stains his forearms. He doesn’t know how they got there, but he looks equally as guilty.

 

Taeyong walks into a convenience store that happened to be open and grabs some hair dye and scissors. The teenager at the counter seems terrified. The two of them look like proper physcopaths.

 

“T-that’ll be ten dollars,” the teenager squeaks out, passing the bag over. Jaehyun takes out their big stack of money. “That’s a lot of money.”

 

Jaehyun stops looking for a ten and instead looks up at the boy like he’s stupid. “We robbed a bank,” he states before slamming the money down on the counter.

 

Taeyong takes the plastic bag and hurriedly gets to their car. He waits for Jaehyun to start the car and doesn’t hum along when Bowie is played.

 

**A MOTEL IN TENNESSEE**

 

“A man has been found dead in a dumpster in the back of O’Malley’s. Reports say they are still searching for the murderer and investigating further into the crime scene.”

 

News channels always spew shit. They want views so they sell up a lot of minor stories. Nothing exciting ever happens, but when somebody gets stabbed twenty times and slashed in the throat, everybody wants to know about it.

 

Taeyong changes the channel.

 

“There are no witnesses,” the TV says, “but police say they have an idea on the  suspect.”

 

He sits at the edge of the bed and clutches the remote with shaky hands. His hands are still covered in blood and they shake even more.

 

“They won’t find us,” Jaehyun tries.

 

Taeyong slumps further. “And if they do?”

 

“He harassed you,” he points out. “It was self-defense.”

 

“Do you really think they’ll believe that?”

 

No, he did not, he was not going to tell Taeyong that. So, he nods and places a comforting hand on the other’s shoulder. He rubs his back soothingly before Jaehyun gets up to retrieve the bag of items they recently bought.

 

“Makeover time,” he tries to say lightly.

 

Taeyong uneasily smiles and gets up as well.

 

He sits in the small tub shirtless as Jaehyun washes his hair. The red water rinses down the drain and neither of them know if it’s the man’s blood or Taeyong’s hair.

 

It’s sort of relaxing. His hands massage his scalp with warm water and he tries to rinse out as much red dye as possible. Jaehyun gathers the items needed to dye his hair and prepares them all for application.

 

“My step-dad hated my red hair,” Taeyong says after a long time of silence. “Said it made me look fruity.” His shoulders shake slightly in sad laughter.

 

Jaehyun uses his bare hands to apply the brown dye. “I liked your red hair. Looked cute,” he confesses with a smile.

 

“Seems like you were the only one.” He looks up at Jaehyun momentarily. His wet bangs flop over his his brows and he looks so, so vulnerable at this moment. “You’ll be a cute blonde.”

 

Jaehyun groans and continues to apply the dye. “Please don’t remind me,” he complains. “I like my natural hair.”

 

Taeyong chuckles light and says, “Better be ready to say bye-bye.”

 

Jaehyun eventually finishes putting all the dye in. He’s never dyed somebody's hair before, but it wasn’t so hard. Maybe he went a bit overboard with all the layers. He just didn’t want to miss any spots.

 

Taeyong’s hair is still wet as he prepares the bleach for Jaehyun. The younger whines when he smells the chemicals. He takes off his bloody shirt and jeans before stepping into the tub. He turns on the hot water and lets it wash over his hair.

 

It takes awhile to get his hair light enough for the blonde dye. It looks like an unnatural orangey yellow before Taeyong goes in with the blonde. He relaxes under his touch and closes his eyes. He nearly falls asleep, but Taeyong keeps slapping his chest to keep him awake.

 

“What if it looks weird?” he worries.

 

“I’ll still think you’re hot, if that helps,” Taeyong reassures.

 

“Thanks, really means a lot,” Jaehyun replies sarcastically.

 

Taeyong pulls away his hands and gasps in mock offense. “I just called you hot and all I get is a sarcastic thank you?”

 

“Thank you for calling me hot, _honey_ ,” he stretches his words out.

 

“Anything for you, _sweetums_ ,” Taeyong responds. “Now turn your head. You gotta sit still.”

 

Jaehyun complies with all of Taeyong’s directions and waits for a long time. Once it’s finally all over, Jaehyun climbs out of the tub and squeezes his eyes shut so he wouldn’t be able to see himself in the mirror.

 

He’s blonde now and he doesn’t really mind it. He still like his natural hair better.

 

“I’d still bang,” Taeyong states and then he walks out of the bathroom with his newly dyed hair.

 

**MITCHELLVILLE, TENNESSEE**

 

“Do you think I’m pretty?” Taeyong asks randomly when they’re eating in the backseat of their car.

 

He’s got ketchup on the corner of his mouth and messy hair. To Jaehyun, he’s still beautiful. Taeyong takes a big bite of his burger and his cheeks puff out like a chipmunk’s. He’s still pretty.

 

“You’re the prettiest,” Jaehyun states. It’s a fact and everybody knows this.

 

Taeyong seems unconvinced as he chews slowly at his burger. He taps his foot against the younger’s calf and stares at him intently. Jaehyun takes a bite of his own burger and raises both of his brows in question.

 

“I was just thinking about how’d that work out for me in prison,” he confesses.

 

Jaehyun sighs and drops his burger. He grabs a napkin and wipes the ketchup off of Taeyong’s soft mouth. His lips separate and licks them after Jaehyun finishes cleaning him up. They gaze into each other’s eyes like it’s the last time they ever will.

 

“Don’t think like that,” he whispers softly. “We’re so close. Nothing will happen. I promise.”

 

He makes promises, and there are promises he can’t keep. They’re out of his control and never follow the rules. This promise he makes to Taeyong is one he holds tightly. He will not let it out of his control and will take Taeyong to New York.

 

Taeyong will get to see New York.

 

“How can you be so sure?” he responds, equally as soft. “Jaehyun, they know it was us. I listened to the radio.”

 

Jaehyun shifts and sighs in frustration. “I told you not to listen to that shit.”

 

“I couldn’t help it,” Taeyong defends. “They’re right at our tail and when they catch us it’s all over.” He looks close to tears, but he refuses to let tears spill.

 

Jaehyun might cry because he hasn’t in awhile. He really needs to cry, but right now isn’t the moment to cry. He’ll save it for when it’s absolutely necessary.

 

“We should lay low for a couple,” he concludes.

 

Taeyong nods slowly. “Where?”

 

Jaehyun didn’t really know, but they had to get out of Tennessee right away. They’ve stayed too long and the police have gained a lead. The bartender caught on how they left the same time the man had. His suspicions grew high and suddenly the police had suspects.

 

“You find somewhere,” he gives, “anywhere you like.”

 

Taeyong smiles and leans over to hug Jaehyun tightly. Their burgers are long forgotten as they kiss.

 

Taeyong kisses him like it’s the last time they ever will. Maybe it is.

 

**SOMEWHERE IN NEW JERSEY**

 

Jaehyun has never gone to the beach. He has never gone, but he knows that he hates it. He hates the idea of sand getting everywhere. There was nothing appealing about the beach.

 

Taeyong loved the beach.

 

He loved it so much. His family had gone to beach trips a lot when he was younger, and he explained this to Jaehyun when he pulled up to a beach in New Jersey. Taeyong said the beach was the only memory of his childhood that would bring him peace.

 

Jaehyun reluctantly agreed to stop at the beach once the older had explained. Taeyong had jumped out of the car and gleefully ran towards the waves, bare feet meeting the simmering sand.

 

Taeyong ran quickly and farther away from Jaehyun. The younger strolled casually with his Converses in his left hand. The beach was large and mostly vacant and the lifeguard stands were empty. The sun was just starting to peek over the horizon, so nobody was there yet.

 

It was beautiful. Taeyong and the sun.

 

He could hear his laugh from even far away. Jaehyun eventually caught up and was closer to his lover. Taeyong’s laugh was loud and brash and the opposite of beautiful. His nose scrunched and his head was thrown back slightly. To Jaehyun, it was beautiful.

 

He laughed loudly as his bare feet met the cold water. His jeans were cuffed, but they still got wet. Taeyong clearly did not care. Jaehyun on the other hand was very uncomfortable. He pushed away those feelings quickly as Taeyong pulled him into the water with him.

 

His blank face slowly started to brighten up as he laughed along with Taeyong. They had no clue about what they were laughing at, but they were happy and unbothered.

 

Nobody can touch them. Nobody can harm them. Nobody can ruin this.

 

“We’re invincible,” Taeyong whispered against Jaehyun’s lips as their laughter calmed.

 

His arms were wrapped around Jaehyun’s waist and he was so, so close. Jaehyun held him closer so the waves wouldn’t wash him away. Their chests touched and for a moment, he swears, time stopped.

 

Time was a void. It was meaningless.

 

“I love you,” Jaehyun whispered back. Taeyong’s face darkened, but it quickly faded and he surged into a passionate kiss.

 

He poured everything into the kiss. Their lips moved together slowly. Jaehyun savored the feeling of Taeyong’s lips on his. His hands traced Taeyong’s back soothingly and eventually he let his hands rest at the bottom of his back, right above his bum.

 

The older’s hands traveled up and onto the nape of Jaehyun’s neck. There, he grabbed onto the blonde hair and holds on tightly. He pulled away for second so the both of them can catch their breaths. For those quick seconds, Jaehyun can see the tears falling down Taeyong’s face.

 

Before Jaehyun can react, Taeyong is back on his mouth. He lets their tongue slide against each other and the kiss becomes too much very quickly. Taeyong doesn’t seem to mind as he takes the initiative. He chooses the pace and Jaehyun follows.

 

Jaehyun always follows. Always will follow.  

 

That was the last time either of them would be happy. Together.

 

 **A MOTEL IN NEW JERSEY**  

 

Jaehyun wakes up because a ray of sun rests on his face. He opens his eyes slowly and the brightness of the sun irritates him momentarily. He looks out the window for a moment and appreciates the feeling of the warm sun on his face.

 

After enjoying the warmth, he turns over slowly. When he turns, he sees Taeyong sitting up with his back towards Jaehyun, on the edge on the bed. The older turns around and notices Jaehyun’s presence before turning around again.

 

“Is everything okay?” Jaehyun asks when he notices the other’s slight mood dip. It was miniscule, and he should have probably dropped it.

 

He leans up slightly and starts to trace shapes onto Taeyong’s bare back. It always calms him down. The other tenses at the touch.

 

“You don’t love me,” Taeyong states, like it’s a fact. “I won’t let you.”

 

Jaehyun can’t see the other and Taeyong can’t see him. His own face is perplexed and angry. He’s frustrated because he does love Taeyong. He loves him with all of his heart. Who is Taeyong to tell him who he loves and who he doesn’t?

 

“I do love you,” Jaehyun counters.

 

Taeyong chuckles bitterly. “No, you don’t.”

 

“Why do you keep doing this?’

 

Taeyong turns around and sits so he’s directly in front of Jaehyun. His short expose his thighs, but at this moment Jaehyun can only focus on the lovely face that cries in front of him. The tears flow down and his face nearly contorts into something ugly. Taeyong can never be ugly, he’s only ever lovely.

 

The tears continue to stream down his face. His nose is red and he looks tired, but he’s still so, so lovely.

 

“You don’t get it,” Taeyong mutters.

 

Jaehyun straightens up and takes the other’s hands into his own. He grabs them and never lets go.

 

“What don’t I get?” he begs for the answer. “Tell me, Taeyong. Please tell me. What am I missing? Why can’t I love you so much that it hurts? Why isn’t my love enough even though I’ve driven across the country only ever for you?”

 

Taeyong cries even more.

 

“Why can’t I love the way you laugh at the stupidest jokes? Why can’t I love the way you organize your backpack every night just to make sure you have everything neat? I love the way you throw your head back when you laugh and the way your nose scrunches,” he continues. Taeyong continues to cry.

 

“Stop talking,” Taeyong weakly says. “Just shut up. Jaehyun, shut up.”

 

“I love you,” Jaehyun repeats. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

 

Taeyong’s face grows red in anger and his tears stream faster as he rips his hands out of Jaehyun’s hands. He gets up and throws on _Jaehyun’s_ shirt. Huh. He storms out of the motel and Jaehyun follows even though he only has his pants on, shirt currently on Taeyong’s body.

 

“Why do you keep running away?” Jaehyun says loudly as he grips the older’s wrist.

 

“You don’t love me,” Taeyong harshly says. “You think you do, and it’s the most frustrating thing. You think you do, but you don’t!”

 

“Why do you keep saying that?”

 

“Because it’s true!” he shouts. “Nobody loves me and nobody ever will. It definitely won’t start with you.” He walks further away from Jaehyun, but he doesn’t get far.

 

Jaehyun groans and throws his hands up in exasperation. “I wouldn’t be here right now, running away from the fucking cops if I didn’t love you,” he says.

 

“Why are you running away from the cops? Tell me,” says Taeyong, his hands on his hips as he waits for the answer. Jaehyun looks at him like he’s stupid and Taeyong just answers for him. “Because of me.”

 

“That’s not true.”

 

“I killed a man, Jaehyun and now we’re fucked. We’re stuck in this mess because of me and we’re never gonna get out of it.” He takes a deep breath and runs his hand through his brown hair in frustration. “You can’t love me because I’m a fucking murderer,” he continues.

 

Jaehyun takes a step closer to Taeyong and laces the hands together. “We’re gonna make it out of this. We’ll figure this out, okay?”

 

Taeyong’s tears are dried now, but he still looks broken and mentally tired. He nods at Jaehyun’s words. He’s not convinced.

 

“We’re gonna get to New York and everything will work out,” he repeats.

 

“How can you be so sure?” Taeyong asks, worried.

 

Jaehyun scrunches his face up when he realizes he has no idea how they are going to pull this off. “I’m not,” he says instead, “but just think about New York. I’ll get you to New York.”

 

“Okay,” Taeyong responds softly. “Okay, I trust you.”

 

He really shouldn’t.

 

**EDISON, NEW JERSEY**

 

The sunset looks prettiest when there’s no one around. When there’s no one around, everything seems a lot more real. It’s just you and your thoughts, no one to interrupt.

 

Taeyong sleeps next to him, peaceful and quiet. His small breaths are quiet. He looks peaceful under the orange and yellow tones of the morning sun.

 

They were so close. New York City was right around the corner. Nothing could possibly go wrong. They would make it to New York and make their lives better. What once seemed so far away was becoming closer than ever.

 

The thought hits Jaehyun like a freight train.

 

What were they going to do? They didn’t have stable money and knew nobody in the area. How were they going to make it? It seems like they’ve jumped over one obstacle and have ran into another one that’s even bigger.

 

With the police right on their back, Jaehyun worries. They’re going to get caught sooner or later. They’ve been dancing on thin ice this whole time. Since the beginning of this trip, Taeyong and Jaehyun have been messing with luck. Eventually, it’ll run out.

 

He tries to recall all of the illegal crimes they’ve committed on this trip. There’s too many to count. First, Jaehyun stole his dad’s car and Taeyong robbed his own step-dad. They robbed a gas station and Taeyong shot a man in the foot. They stole a lot of things really. And the one crime that tops everything off is the murder Taeyong committed not too long ago.

In conclusion, they’ve done a lot of bad shit.

 

They’ve done a lot of bad shit and Jaehyun doesn’t know what to do. He has absolutely no idea. So, he does the one thing he can.

 

He starts the car quickly and drives further into the city, no longer perched onto the beautiful hill where he watched the sunrise. The people are just now waking up and the town, once barren, is now lively. He drives slowly on the smooth road, looking every so often for something particular.

 

Taeyong still rests next to him and only stirs a bit when he runs over a curb. The music softly comes through the radio and the sound of the engine rumbling is all that can be heard in the quiet town.

 

Once he finds what he was looking for, Jaehyun parallel parks with no struggle and shuts down the car. He rolls down the window for Taeyong so he doesn’t melt to death. The older boy stirs once again and shifts into a more comfortable position so his head rests sideways.

 

It’s a cool morning Jaehyun finds out when he steps out of the car and into the streets. He rounds the car to get to a phonebooth, the one thing he was looking for. He grabs into the pockets of his jeans to fish out some change. Fumbling with the phone, Jaehyun shakes as he puts it against his ear and listens to it ring. It had to be late for the folks back in Oregon, but he had to try. Just this once.

 

“Hello?” a familiar voice croaks. “Who is this?”

 

Jaehyun stays quiet for awhile as he realizes exactly what he was doing. The voice on the other side of the line repeats his words and waits. Jaehyun grips the phone tighter and gulps in nervousness.

 

“Sicheng,” he starts, voice shaky, “how’ve you been?”

 

“Holy shit,” his old friend responds, sounding a lot more awake. “Jaehyun, is that you?”

 

Jaehyun twirls the cord around his finger to preoccupy himself. He tries to stay as calm as he can as he attempts to talk to the best friend he left. It hasn’t been that long, but it seems like it’s been an eternity since he’s last spoken to his old friend.

 

“Yeah, it’s me.”

 

“Where have you been?” Sicheng asks quickly. He trips over his words. “You’re everywhere on the news. Jaehyun, they’ve been looking for you _and_ Taeyong.”

 

Jaehyun tries not to completely break down when he hears this information. They really have been beating luck up.

 

“I can’t tell you that,” he responds shakily.

 

Sicheng sighs on the other line. “What have you done?”

 

“I can’t tell you that.”

 

“Well, what can you tell me? Dongyoung and I have been so fucking worried. We deserve some type of information.”

 

Jaehyun doesn’t really know why he called Sicheng. Maybe he just missed the familiar voice. Maybe he needed to hear a soft voice that reminds him of home. Sicheng reminds him of home and his childhood, but he’s abandoned him. Sicheng was his best friend, but he’s not sure if he still is.

 

“I’m so scared, Sicheng,” he explains, laughing weakly at nothing. “I’m all the way in New Jersey and I have no idea where I am.”

 

There’s a beat of silence. Jaehyun realizes he sort of released their location. He trusts Sicheng not to tell the authorities.

 

“Why did you runaway with Taeyong?” his friend asks instead.

 

“Honestly? I have no idea.”

 

“Were you that unhappy?”

 

Jaehyun doesn’t know how to respond. “Yeah,” he answers. “Yeah, I guess I was.”

 

“Please be safe,” Sicheng says and his voice shakes. Jaehyun doesn’t know how his disappearance affected his friends, but apparently it was pretty big. “I don’t know what to say, but we all want you to be safe.”

 

“Sicheng, I’m so scared,” he admits. “What do I do?”

 

“I don’t think I have an answer for you,” Sicheng responds weakly. “Come home maybe?”

 

Jaehyun shakes his head and pinches the bridge of his nose. “You know I can’t do that.”

 

“Then keep running.”

 

Jaehyun knows that’s his only option. It’s his only option because they will always be on the run.

 

“Bye, Sicheng,” he finally says, hanging up the phone before his friend gets the chance to reply. The phone makes a clattering noise and the faint noise of Sicheng saying something rings in Jaehyun’s ears.

 

He wants to cry. He really needs to cry. So, he bites on his fist and the tears start to fall. Ugly tears cover his face. He cries and he can’t stop. The fear starts to settle and the realization hits him harder than ever.

 

Once his tears seem to calm down, the streaks on his face now dried, he returns to the car. Inside, Taeyong’s neck is bent in an awkward position as he continues to sleep. Jaehyun rubs at his eyes even more to get rid of the stinging tears. With a hand dragging over his face, he sighs loudly.

 

“Quit pouting like a baby,” Taeyong mumbles sleepily, waking up slowly. His eyes are still closed and his head is thrown back lazily. He’s half asleep and his gravelly voice is evidence.

 

Jaehyun wetly chuckles and turns on the car. It rumbles to life and they drive deeper into the town.

 

“Can you stop by a music place or something?” Taeyong asks, popping out the tape from the car’s stereo. “I’m tired of listening to Elvis. Fuck that guy. Whoever owned this car has awful taste.”

 

“You said whoever had this car had wonderful taste because of how beautiful the car was,” Jaehyun teases.

 

Taeyong scoffs and digs through the glove compartment. “Obviously, I was wrong.” The wrinkling of paper is heard and Jaehyun glances over to see what the other boy was doing. “Holy shit, look what I found.”

 

Taeyong excitedly gets out a small plastic baggie filled with a something green. Jaehyun isn’t an idiot and he knows when he sees weed. He’s been high with his friends before, but he hasn’t done anything like that in awhile. Taeyong seems very excited to have found it.

 

“What are you doing?” he asks when he sees Taeyong picking it out.

 

“Rolling it up,” he explains. “What’d ya think?”

 

Jaehyun shakes his head, a smile plastered onto his face as he drives through the small town.

 

After some time, Taeyong asks,“Want some?”

 

“I’m driving, babe.”

 

Taeyong takes a pull and blows the smoke into Jaehyun’s face. “And?”

 

Jaehyun waves his hand in front of his face in an attempt to swipe away the smoke from his face. He hates the smell.

 

“And that’s stupid,” he makes a point. “Can you roll down the window or something? That shit stinks.”

 

Taeyong sticks out his tongue and obliges. He smokes it all by himself, telling Jaehyun that he’ll be fine because he’s a big boy and has been high before. After a good while, Jaehyun is stuck in the parking lot of an ice cream ship with a high Taeyong.

 

Some of his strawberry ice cream drips down his chin and Jaehyun has to clean it up for him because he finds it to be the funniest thing in the world. Jaehyun chuckles at his ridiculousness and continues to lick at his vanilla cone.

 

“Of course you would get vanilla,” Taeyong teases.

 

Jaehyun actually giggles. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asks, laughter lacing his voice.

 

Taeyong sits up and looks around like he’s preparing himself to share a secret. The grin on his face is wide and his eyes are red with mischief. He gestures for Jaehyun to get closer and the younger complies. The older boy is still laughing lightly.

 

“You’re still as boring as ever,” he stage whispers, throwing his head back in laughter when Jaehyun glarees hard at him.

 

The blonde pouts hard, but it eventually morphs back into a grin when Taeyong’s contagious laughter keeps going. It’s an ugly laugh, but Jaehyun can’t help but laugh along.

 

With the windows rolled down and the radio music playing softly, the scene seemed familiar and nothing new. They spent their summer like this. Next to each other and nobody else. During this short time, Jaehyun has fell helplessly in love. There was no getting out of this and that hurt him more than anything.

 

So as he kisses the love of his life, he never thinks about the end so quickly.

 

It seemed to have gone from zero to one hundred real quick. Nothing had prepared them. Jaehyun still looks back and wonders about what they could have done to avoid their cursed fate. He supposes he could have just stayed in Oregon, but that would have driven him over the edge.

 

Maybe he’ll never get to see the sun again in the same light as he used to, but at least he can say that he has loved unconditionally.

 

**NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK**

As the car crosses into New York, Taeyong cries, but when they cross into New York City, Taeyong laughs and cheers the loudest. He’s so happy and his eyes are scrunched up, his smile taking up most of his face due to the size of it. Their music blasts loudly and it’s dark, but the lights from the city at the end keeps them wide awake. The roads seem empty again. With his head out of the window, Taeyong cheers loudly.

 

In the distance, they can see the city.

 

Taeyong was happy and he would never be happier. Jaehyun might have to agree because as he stepped on the gas, he felt a wave of emotions. It was exactly like he imagined it to be. The adrenaline rushed through his veins. It was a simple episode, but it was so much more than that.  

 

They had finally made it to where they’ve always wanted. Right in New York. Right next to Taeyong.

 

The first place they stop by is a motel. Always a motel.

 

Motel rooms have been the biggest part of this trip. They always find themselves in a messy motel. No matter how small it is. Jaehyun may never get the smell of cheap motels out of his nose. It’ll be engraved into his brain for years to follow. The hackneyed scene will remain a stamp for their great adventure.

 

“We made it!” Taeyong shouts on top of his lungs right when they exist the car. His voice echoes throughout the silent city noises. Buses and cars and sirens can be heard lightly between Taeyong’s laughter. “I can’t believe we fucking did it.”

 

Jaehyun makes sure to gather all of their things before joining Taeyong before the door. His hands are full with bags and he fumbles with the bobby pin. They didn’t want to pay anyone for their stay because it was three a.m and nobody wants to bothered at that time.

 

The older helps him with the bags as he tries to unlock the motel door. The blonde is obviously struggling as he attempts numerous of times.

 

“You suck at this,” Taeyong insults. Jaehyun pauses momentarily to glare at the older, who just laughs some more. “Here let me do it.”

 

“Picking a lock is a lot harder than it looks, okay?” Jaehyun defends, a pout on his face. Taeyong just pouts along to mock him and grabs hold of his bottom lip.

 

“I’m sorry you’re such a bad criminal, baby.”

 

“I was the one who stole the car,” Jaehyun points towards the car to defend his pride. “Hotwiring is a skill, Tae.”

 

Taeyong rolls his eyes and starts to fidget with the lock. “I’m sure it was very tasking and took a lot out of you.”

 

“I don’t appreciate your insults.”

 

The lock clicks and the brunette opens the door swiftly. With a big grin on his face, he says, “Groovy.”

 

“I loosened it for you,” mutters Jaehyun. Taeyong looks at him slyly, not believing a word. “I did!”

 

Taeyong plops down onto the bed and kicks his boots off across the room, sighing as he rests his eyes. The soft smile on his face endears Jaehyun beyond everything. Can somebody possibly love someone this much?

 

“Sure you did,” mumbles Taeyong. “Quit your whining and come to bed,” he adds, beckoning Jaehyun over with his pointer finger.

 

The younger jumps onto the bed and jostles the other a little, throwing them both into a fit of giggles. Once it quiets down again, Taeyong rolls over on top of Jaehyun and plays with the small hairs on the nape of his neck. His hair was growing longer and it was almost like a mullet, but not.

 

Taeyong looks down at him from above with the fondest smile on his face. He looks at Jaehyun and the younger can tell. He can tell what’s going to happen next. They’ve made it to New York. Now what?

 

Jaehyun can sense it. The end.

 

It’s in the air, but if he ignores it enough, he can pretend they have a future. A future where Taeyong gets to do what he loves in New York and Jaehyun gets to follow. A future with children and love. A future with Taeyong.

 

The other doesn’t see a future. He only sees now and he only sees Jaehyun below him. When he thinks of his future, he doesn’t see Jaehyun. He used the younger long enough. He got what he wants. He’s in New York.

 

They both know this.

 

Taeyong kisses Jaehyun softly, their lips barely touching. Just a brush. His lips are chapped while Taeyong’s are as soft as ever. This is the end.

 

So, Jaehyun says it, “I love you.” His voice is quiet so only the two of them can hear it. Nobody else. It’s so quiet, Jaehyun worries Taeyong didn’t hear him.

 

He can see it in his eyes. He can see the deflated loss. He sees loss and disappointment. But Taeyong just smiles and kisses him once more, a little harder this time. A lot more passionate. Jaehyun pretends that this is the kiss that seals their love.

 

Jaehyun is seventeen years old. It’s August 29th, 1988 and he is getting his heart broken.

 

The universe is finally crushing him. His lover is no angel. Jaehyun learned that a long time ago. He’s the devil in disguise.

 

Taeyong is crushing him and he’s doing it with a smile.

 

Jaehyun goes to sleep and he dreams of the future they can never have.

 

**STILL: NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK**

 

The sun always wakes him up. When the curtains can’t block its bright light, it always falls onto his face and he wakes up squinting against the rays.

 

This morning is no different.

 

He wakes up slowly and then all at once. His heart drops and he turns around so he’s fully laying on his back. He turns his head slowly to his right.

 

Nobody is there. Just the empty side of a horrible motel bed. He places his hand on the spot where Taeyong had once rested. His hand trembles against the white sheets and he grips them hard, knuckles white.

 

He doesn’t cry. He feels … empty. Nothing. Just blank space. He can hear his heart breaking slowly. Each piece of him breaks off, one after the other. Jaehyun slowly rises out of bed and looks around the room.

 

There’s no trace of Taeyong what-so-ever. It was almost like he was never here in the first place. His boots are gone. His favorite jeans are no longer thrown across the TV and his light blue backpack is gone. He’s gone.

 

Jaehyun untangles the sheets and goes towards the small desk in the corner. In the corner, he can see a blue post-it. He heart squeezes even tighter and his head starts to hurt.

 

He reaches the table and closes his eyes as he grasps the blue piece of paper. Jaehyun crumples it up before he can read it. If Taeyong decides not to say goodbye in person, why read anything he’s left behind?

 

Before the police or the manager can find him, Jaehyun exits the motel. The morning crisp wind blows his hair out of his face. The car is still there.

 

He starts the car and David Bowie's _Heroes_  starts to play softly. Jaehyun’s grip on the steering wheel is tight and he can feel his eyes grow hot, his nose growing hot as well because that’s just what happens when he starts crying.

 

“Fuck New York,” he curses softly.

  
  


_Jaehyun,_

 

_I loved you more than I loved myself. Maybe one day we can learn how to love properly. I love you, too. More than anything._

 

_With love,_

 

_Taeyong._

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow okay 
> 
> follow and scream at me pls [twitter](https://twitter.com/HONEYJlN) !


	3. endings?

 

 

 

 

**SOMEWHERE IN NEW YORK**

 

Jaehyun doesn’t spend time worrying about Taeyong. He never knows if he ever got caught for murdering that man, but sometimes he worries and check the paper for updates. It’s an open case without evidence. Both of them are seemingly safe.

 

Taeyong left him alone and with a target on his head. They both wear the same targets, but now they’re just a part. Jaehyun can’t blame him for that. At times he wonders if they got off scotch free.

 

They murdered a man. Slowly, the national news started to search for other cases and the radios stopped announcing manhunts. They were safe. Maybe they would be fine, but Jaehyun wouldn’t know.

 

He came to New York for Taeyong, but ironically he hasn’t seen Taeyong. He hasn’t seen him since that night in the motel. In such a big city, Jaehyun feels even smaller because he can’t find the one person he wouldn’t mind seeing one more time.

 

It’s been three months since he’s last seen the one person who made him happiest. Three whole months. He was given enough time to forget about him, but Taeyong is left everywhere he goes.   

 

The first couple of months without Taeyong were the worst. He had to learn how to deal with a broken heart all by himself. He had to fix himself before anybody else got the chance to fix it for him.

 

He spent most of his time at the library reading love poems and absolutely detesting them. The thought of love for the first couple days disgusted him. He never wanted to feel love ever again because who would want to go through such awful pain? Love was never supposed to hurt, but it hurt Jaehyun beyond words.

 

He would spend most of his time at the library reading love poems because he didn’t have a love to proclaim about. So, he read about others’.

 

At night he would look at his window and try to count all of the stars in his night sky. He’d like to think about Taeyong seeing the same night sky as him.

 

When the stars twinkled in the sky, Jaehyun remembers that they’re rooting for them. The stars are rooting for Taeyong and Jaehyun. Look at how they cheer for them. When he sees the stars, he thinks of Taeyong. Star, the stars, oh the stars, how they laugh at Jaehyun now.

 

They were never rooting for them. The stars never wanted them.

 

He’d cry on the bathroom floor and read poems until they’d start to grow boring. He’d stare at the stars until they’d hide away under the sun’s light. Jaehyun was broken for the first few weeks. Maybe he’s still broken. He wouldn’t be able to tell.

 

So, he lives the best that he can and tries not to think of the stars or Taeyong.

 

The fall weather in New York City is cold. It’s been three months and Jaehyun is currently standing outside of his apartment building. The night sky is dark and polluted as he stares up. A cigarette dangles off of his fingertips as he waits for it to burn out. He doesn’t smoke as much as most people, but occasionally he’ll light one when he feels like it.

 

Right now he feels lonely. He feels lonely in the crowded city filled with hundreds of people. They come in everyday, tourists and locals alike, but Jaehyun still feels like the loneliest person in the world. He has friends and people to talk to, but they never make him feel wanted.

 

The boy with braces from downstairs claims they’re already best friends, but the kid is two years younger than him and he doesn’t really want to be best friends with a freshman. He’s good company though when Jaehyun feels extra lonely. At times he doesn’t feel bad when he imagines he’s talking to Sicheng instead because the two are so alike it scares Jaehyun.

 

He made some new friends at his new job at the cafe. They’re nice enough and one of them reminds him of Yuta, but he should feel bad for replacing his original friends with people completely new. They don’t deserve that. He calls them his friends, but when it’s time to head back to his tiny apartment (more like a studio) he remembers how alone he really is. Being alone has been something Jaehyun has always feared, and now it’s happening to him.

 

Deciding to stop his saddening thoughts, Jaehyun stomps out his cigarette and heads inside. As he goes up the long staircase, he decides to look into his mailbox. In his mailbox was a few bills and a letter from his mom.

 

His mom had left right after Jaehyun. Once he ran away, she packed her bags and moved right back to Korea with their family without any hesitation. In a way, Jaehyun is glad he gave his mom an opportunity to leave his mentally abusive father.

 

He tucks away the letter for later and struggles to open the busted lock. It was a cheap apartment place with countless of damages and the place needs so many repairs. The lock finally comes undone after a few seconds.

 

His apartment does not feel like home. It never will. It always feels like there’s missing something. Something big and something that will fill the gaping hole in his heart.

 

When he steps into his apartment, the first thing he notices are his plants near the windowsill. They’re moved.

 

“Cute place you got here,” a familiar voice says, filling the silence.

 

Jaehyun’s heart drops so suddenly that he feels the wind knocked out of him. His heart drops because standing in the middle of his tiny room he’s had for three months is someone he never imagined to see in a long time. Someone he still dreams about even though they never dream of him.

 

“Taeyong,” his voice betrays him and cracks with how quietly he whispers the name.

 

There he stood with his pink hair, tattered jeans, doc martens, and leather jacket. He didn’t change a bit. His hair was just a new color.

 

“They found me,” the older states sadly. “I don’t know how, but they did. In a couple days, they’re gonna have me on trial. Said I better not leave the country.”

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

Taeyong starts to move towards Jaehyun slowly, his feet dragging behind him. He looks just as beaten down as Jaehyun. He’s been hurting too.

 

“I’m sorry that I broke your heart.”

 

“You did a lot more than that,” Jaehyun counters.

 

Taeyong places a soft hand on Jaehyun’s cheek and keeps his eyes on the younger’s lips. His eyes glance up at Jaehyun’s and they tell a story. His eyes are filled with sorrow and loneliness. Just like Jaehyun’s.

 

“The cops are right behind my back again,” Taeyong whispers. In their little space, they can only hear each other. Nothing else.

 

“So what are we gonna do?” Jaehyun asks softly.

 

The fall wind blows softly through the open window and it feels cool against his hot skin. Silence fills between them and there is nothing.

 

Taeyong is in front him and he looks so lovely. He is so lovely and Jaehyun never fell out of love. It was never that easy to fall out of love with someone like Lee Taeyong. It was always so easy to fall in love with someone like Lee Taeyong.

 

Lee Taeyong. The mystery to all and the one love Jaehyun has ever had. They loved each other and they always will. Your first love will always be your greatest.

 

Taeyong steps impossibly closer towards Jaehyun so their chests are now touching and intertwined their hands. The younger of the two looks down at their hands. When he looks up to meet Taeyong’s eyes, the older looks excited and sympathetic. Just like it had started, Taeyong simply asks a question he’s been asking his whole life.

 

“Wanna go on another adventure?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to all who took the time to read the stuff that I've been working on for so long. im sorry if this isn't the ending that some of you hoped for, but it's tagged open ending for a reason. 
> 
> again thank you so much 
> 
> scream at me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/HONEYJlN)


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